


The Pull to the Light

by erin_means_peace



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6503761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erin_means_peace/pseuds/erin_means_peace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the destruction of Starkiller Base Supreme Leader Snoke sends Kylo Ren to Yavin IV where he has to pretend to be an ordinary person, and not the Sith Lord he actually is, to gather information about the Resistance. There he meets you, the Force-sensitive sister of Poe Dameron, and he finds himself falling in love with you. You show him new things about the Force he never thought possible, and throughout the story you two discover new things about the Force together, some that reveal that both sides have become corrupt in some ways. He is now torn again between becoming the Sith Lord Snoke wants him to be, or going back to being Ben Solo and being with you? After his mission he reveals his identity to you, and although you still love each other, you must go your separate ways. Him back to the First Order, and you to train with Luke and Rey to be a Jedi. But there is still hope for you two to be together, even if you are on different sides. Love will always find a way, especially if the Force has you two destined to be together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Mission

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So I think this story is really cool and I'm super excited about it! I came up with so many head canons about the characters and theories of my own about the Force and the Dark and the Light Side. The first six parts deal with Kylo's mission on Yavin IV and all the parts after that take place in the First Order and the Resistance. I have also posted this on tumblr under the account @benkylotrash if you want to check it out. I hope you enjoy!

A little boy and a girl run down a dirt pathway in the jungle, away from their parents and towards their home on the planet Yavin IV. “Slow down Poe!” The little girl yells after the boy, she stumbles a bit and almost trips.

“Run faster Y/N!” Poe calls after her as he continues to run faster down the path. He runs past a big tree in front of their house and cheers. “Ha! I beat you!” He mocks as you trudge down the path downtrodden.

“Why do big brothers always win?” You ask and Poe just smiles.

“Because we’re older and better than little sisters.” He mocks and you stomp your foot on the ground.

“I’m only two years younger than you!” You point out.

“I’m still older! And faster than you.” Poe says as he runs back up the path since their parents called them back. But as you were about to go back you noticed something shimmering in the tree in a crevice as the sun lit it. It was a dark purple color, and it shined in the light and it looked like there was something swirling in it. You smiled and picked up a rock lying by one of the roots and started to hit the wood around the crystal to free it but it didn’t work, and you couldn’t get the crystal out. But then you could have sworn you felt something behind you. And a reflection of a pale blue glow. You gasped and turned around but there was nothing there. You heard a clatter on the ground and then turned around to find the crystal dislodged from the tree and you smiled and picked it up.

“It’s beautiful…” You say and run it around in your hand.

“Y/N!” You heard her father call and you ran back up the path, with the crystal in hand back up to your father.

~About 30 years or so later~

Kylo Ren and General Hux made their way down the halls of the First Order ship, Snoke had called them both in for a meeting to discuss their next plan of attack, after the Starkiller had been destroyed. They both entered the throne room and bowed their heads before the big projection of their leader. “Greetings Supreme Leader Snoke.” They both said in unison. Snoke nodded in appreciation of their address to him. “What do you wish us to do for the First Order to make it stronger so that we may control the galaxy?” Kylo Ren asks. Snoke smiles at him.

“I can sense your anger fueling you more than it ever has Kylo Ren.” He says to him and lets out a very faint chuckle in amusement. “You’re mad that the girl beat you, and that the base that was so expertly designed and wielded such glorious power was destroyed by a small band of resistance fighters.” He says and Kylo lets out a roar of anger and slashes his lightsabre through a pole nearby and continues to do so before Snoke stands up and orders him to halt with more power than Hux has ever heard from him before and he is startled a bit while Kylo stands with his lightsabre on and breathing heavily. Snoke sits back down. “With such anger burning inside you, I doubt you will ever feel the pull to the Light side again.” He says and gives a small smile to Kylo.

“I will never go back.” He says, his voice deep through his mask. “There is nothing for me on the Light side of the Force. The Dark Side is the only path that will lead me to my fullest potential, for power and glory.” He says and Snoke rises again.

“Excellent.” He says. “Because the task I am about to assign you may have tempted you to go back to the light. But now I am confident that you will be able to stand by us, and become powerful and strong with the First Order.” 

“What do you command me to do?” He asks.

“I need someone to do some surveillance for me.” Snoke says. “On a planet that many people have tipped us off to believe holds many members of the resistance and their families. I need you to go down to the planet and see if what they say is true.”

“But Supreme Leader why can’t some storm troopers do that?”

“Because they have been trained and conditioned to serve the First Order since they were born. They know nothing of the way of life outside of the Order and will not be able to blend in so easily.” Snoke explains.

“Why am I not capable of doing it Supreme Leader?” Hux asks.

“Because you would be too easily seduced by the way of life of the resistance.” Snoke says. “You don’t have the depth of commitment to the Dark Side that Kylo Ren does and you may fall prey to the Resistance.” Hux is about to speak again but Snoke holds up his hand and silences him. “Oh shut up you know it’s true.” Hux sighs and bows his head and Hux turns to Kylo Ren. “After you killed your father you have no remaining ties to the Light Side. And although I hate to bring it up you do have a past with their side of this fight. So you know their ways of life and how to blend in. All I need is for you to find out as much intelligence as you can about the resistance from the people living on this planet and then we will know a great deal more about them and be able to destroy them once and for all and take control of the galaxy.” Snoke explains and Kylo Ren sighs.

“I will do this, to serve you Supreme Leader.” Kylo Ren says and Snoke smiles. The First Order ship enters hyperspace to go to Yavin IV, the planet that Snoke was talking about and Kylo Ren is in his room looking at the clothes that were prepared for him to wear to blend in Because all of his Sith clothes would give him away instantly as someone not to be trusted. He surveyed the garments and sighed. He didn’t like how they looked. They were robes of different shades of brown. He reluctantly removed his helmet and changed out of his black clothes and adorned these new garments and looked at himself in his mirror. He sneered at his reflection. He hoped to get this mission over with quickly so that he could get back to his training to become a fully fledged Sith Lord on the Dark Side. He went to his bed and looked at the things that were left for him to carry with him and a satchel. Some things that most travelers would carry with them, like food and a water canteen, and underneath all of that his lightsabre, should he need to use it to defend himself.

“Kylo Ren we have reached Yavin IV. Are you ready to make your descent down to the-” Hux says then sees Kylo in his disguise and bites his lip to hold back a laugh. But eventually one slips out and then Kylo force chokes him and holds him up.

“I will not be the source of your laughter or anyone else’s during this mission!” He sneers at Hux. “I am very well aware that I look like a fool in these clothes but we all make sacrifices for the First Order. And this is one of mine.” He says then lets Hux go and he collapses on the ground, gasping for air. He picks up his satchel and slings it over his shoulder. “I am prepared to make my descent to Yavin IV.” He says and then roughly picks up Hux by his arm and leads him out of his room and to a carrier ship to take him down. The carrier ship flies over Yavin IV and then finds a clearing in the jungle to land in and let off Kylo Ren.

“There is a colony a few miles off from here.” A storm trooper informs him as the doors open and Kylo Ren steps out into the jungle. “You will find some shelter there. And we will be checking in with you every day with General Hux to collect any information you have for us and hand it over to Supreme Leader Snoke.” They say and Kylo nods to them.

“Very well. Now be off.” He says and waves his hand to them and the carrier doors close again and the ship takes off and heads back to the First Order ship. “Hopefully I don’t have to be here too long.” He says and looks at the jungle around him and sighs and walks down what appeared to be a path. He looked around at the jungles and was relatively amazed. He had never seen so much color all in one area before, and so many living little creatures. But these were all completely irrelevant to the mission so he ignored them as soon as he felt his mind start to wander. He even stepped on a few beetles that crossed his path and gave a satisfactory smile as he did so.

After walking for what seemed like ages for him he came across a little town. It had buildings that seemed to be built out of sandstone brick and wood. There were surprisingly a lot of people in this little colony, all bustling about the colony and buying various things at markets. Kylo had no idea where to begin his search. As he walked through the crowded streets searching for some sort of starting point people bumped into him, luckily not seeming to pay any attention to him, and those that did only gave him a curious stare that lasted a few minutes and then moved on. Not many travelers come here. He thought. He was knocked out of his train of thought when another villager knocked into him and he had to use every ounce of strength to keep from being aggressive towards the villager. People on the Light Side don’t get so angry over little things. He reminds himself. The sun was now at it’s peak in the day and he holds his hand over his brow to shade his eyes from it. He hadn’t seen this much light in awhile his helmet blocked out a lot of it and there is a reason the Dark Side is called the Dark Side. He makes his way our of the crowds and over to a shaded area in an alley by a store where he could think about he would find some information and where he would spend his nights. As he slumped against the wall at the back corner of the store he relaxes a bit but then is broken from his train of thought again when someone bumps into him and his temper snaps and he turns on them with a viscous look on his face. “What’s your-” He stops and his features soften when he sees who is before him. A girl-no, a woman who looked around his age and arguably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was about a head smaller than him and wore a dress-like dark green sleeveless tunic. It had slits in it than ran up the sides of her legs, showing dark brown pants that matched her brown boots and she wore a brown belt around her slim waist. She wore some white gloves that went up to her elbows, similar to Rey’s. Her e/c eyes were mesmerizing and captured his dark ones and held his gaze while she looked into his dark pools of brown until she broke the silence with her sweet voice.

“Who are you?” You ask. “And what are you doing here? I’ve never seen you around before.” Kylo stammers a bit before finding his voice to answer you.

“My name is K-Ben.” He says quickly before saying Kylo. His eyes widened a bit when he realized he used the name that he had previously before joining the Dark Side. Why did I tell her that name? He questions himself before continuing. “I traveled here from Jakku. I’ve been searching for information about my family, who are with the Resistance about where they might be so that I can join them in the fight against the First Order.” He says and mentally pats himself on the back for coming up with an excellent lie. He even smiles a bit which nowadays was a rare thing for him. But in your presence he just couldn’t help himself. Being around you made him feel a strange tightening sensation in his chest, although he was unsure if he liked it or not.

“Your family is with the Resistance too?” You ask and Kylo smiles a bit more, with satisfaction now that he has found a possible victim for his mission. “My brother Poe is their best pilot! We’re so proud of him! What does your family do?” Wait a minute… He thought. Poe…Poe Dameron?! Is this the sister of Leia’s most trusted and best fighter pilot?! She must know everything there is to know about the Resistance! I’ve hit the motherload. Snoke will be so proud of me! He thinks then grins at you. He was about to use the force right then and there on her and get all the information he could ever need and want out of you, but then he remembered that that would blow his cover, and you might not even know that much. You could have other family or siblings who knew more. He would have to wait to gain your trust before getting the information his dark heart so desperately desired. You were merely his ticket to getting it.

“Yes they are. My mother is in Medical, while my father is sort of a spy/smuggler who goes around collecting parts for the X-Wings and gathers information about the First Order’s whereabouts.” He says and hopes that sounds believable which he was pretty sure it did. “What’s your name? And is your brother Poe Dameron?”

“Yes. He is. And my name is Y/N.” You say. “I’m his little sister.”

“Do you know a place where I can stay while I’m here?” He asks you.

“You can stay with me and my parents. We have a spare bedroom since Poe isn’t home right now.” You say and the two of you start to walk out of the alleyway and into the sunlight. You practically glowed in it. Kylo was almost put into another trance but he pushed that thought aside and remembered the mission.

“Thank you. That’s very kind of you.” He says to you and smiles a bit. Why do I keep smiling around her? Kylo thinks. I’m not doing this voluntarily I just can’t help but smile whenever I’m around her. Why is this happening?! He questions himself as they walk through the streets.

“I just need to pick up some things from a few stores and then we’ll head over.” You say. “Is that okay Ben?”

“Yes.” He says and follows you around. For some reason he wasn’t as bothered as he thought he would be when you called him that name. It sounded right coming from you. Although he quickly discarded that thought and followed you through the market. He noted how you acted around the shop keepers and market stands where she picked up various fruits and vegetables. He made a mental note to copy these mannerisms later on when he would meet you and Poe’s parents. He realized he had to try to go back to his old ways before he became Kylo Ren. That definitely won’t be easy. He thought to himself as he looked at you. He had completely given up the Light Side. There was no going back. These little feelings he was starting to have around you were just mere uncomfortable feelings of being in a foreign environment. The sneers and strange looks he got from some of the shop keepers only cemented that notion, and fueled his anger. I’ll destroy them all one day…He thought. Then you gently touched his bicep and all of his dark thoughts seemed to be pushed aside for a moment. Just for a moment as he looked at your face.

“That’s all the stuff I needed to get. We can head home now.” You say and remove your hand and Kylo’s dark thoughts returned.

“Yes. Let’s go home.” He says and grins at you as you lead him out of town.


	2. Meeting the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You bring Kylo home to stay with you and he tries to act normal around you and your parents.

Kylo and you walked out of town and down a jungle path. Kylo watched you as you walked in front of him, your hair waving in the gentle breeze and along with the sway of your hips as you walked. As the sun set the jungle was alive with creatures bustling about. Kylo looked up and noticed two birds fly into a tree and then settle down into a nest and cuddle with each other to go to sleep for the approaching night. Kylo scoffed and looked away from them. Love. He thought to himself. The weakest emotion that exists. The Supreme Leader told me that, so it must be true. He thinks then looks at you and notices you slowing down your stride and staring at him curiously. He could tell just by the look on your face that you were looking at his scar. The scar he had gotten from that force sensitive scavenger girl. Rey He thinks about her name and feels his anger starting to grow again, he could have lashed out right then and there if your voice hadn’t pulled him back from his dark thoughts. “Where did you get that scar?” You ask him and he sighs.

“It’s a long story.” Kylo mutters under his breath and looks away from you. “I’d rather not talk about it.” He says and you nod in acknowledgement.

“We’re almost home.” You say and Kylo’s dark thoughts return and he smirks, knowing that now he’s closer to getting a gold mine of information about the Resistance. This girl trusts strangers too much. He thinks She is so foolish, just like all those daft weaklings with the Resistance. Soon they both come into a clearing and Kylo Ren stops in his tracks when he gets an overwhelming sense of the force in the area. He looks around, trying to see where it’s coming from but all that’s there is a dumb tree and a house. Two people come out of it and rush to embrace you. 

“Oh thank goodness you’re home!” The woman Kylo assumed to be your mother exclaims. “You were out so much later than we expected, we thought something might have happened to you.”

“Don’t worry mom I’m fine.” You assure her mother and then turns back to Kylo. “I took a bit longer to get the groceries because on my way into town I got distracted by some flowers.” You say and pull out a bouquet you arranged for your mother. “And then I met Ben.” You say and gesture to Kylo. “He’s traveling to find his family in the Resistance so I said that he could stay with us for awhile.”

“Well I’m sure that’s fine.” Your father says and approaches Kylo and holds out his hand for him. It takes Kylo a moment but then he quickly remembers he’s supposed to shake it and he does so forcefully, with a firm grip, like his father had taught him to do. He feels a slight pang in his chest at the thought of his father but then quickly pushes it aside. “We’re just about to have dinner, why don’t you come in?” He offers, and Kylo feels uneasy with all of this kindness he’s being shown.

“Thank ’s very kind of you.” He says softly and your father arches an eyebrow.

“He’s very shy isn’t he.” Your father says and claps his hand on Kylo’s shoulder, making him jump at the contact and your father laughs. How dare he touch me and then laugh about it like it’s a joke! He exclaims in his head and is about to grab his lightsabre when he hears your laughter and then forgets why he was even searching through his satchel for it in the first place. “My name is Kes and this is my wife Shara.” Your father introduces.

“It’s nice to meet you Ben.” Shara says and Kylo shakes her hand a bit gentler since she looked a bit more fragile than her husband.

Their house was very simple and homey. There were family pictures on the walls, and a big fire place with a sofa in the middle of the room, and then a kitchen where you were helping your mother chop up some vegetables. It was a simple, nice family. Or at least it appeared that way, Kylo reminded himself that they were Resistance and that this simple and homey atmosphere was just a facade for their disgusting rebel ways. “I’ll take you to Poe’s room.” Your father says to Kylo. “You can sleep there during the night.” He says as he leads Kylo around a corner to where there were bedrooms. Kes opens up one door and lets Kylo step in. “I hope you don’t mind.” He says.

“No it’s perfect.” Kylo says honestly as he steps inside and sets his satchel down on Poe’s bed.

“That’s great!” Kes says. “I’ll let you know when it’s time for dinner.” He says. Kylo smiles at him and then when Kes turns around to leave Kylo’s hand shoots out and he grabs Kes’s mind forcefully, probing it for any information he may have on the Resistance. Quickly and efficiently Kylo sorted through every thought this man had of Poe, hoping to get information. But sadly he did not find much before his eyes started to water when he saw memories of a young Poe and Kes, doing father-son things like playing catch, going fishing, learning how to fly a plane, all of the things he used to do with his father before he was sent away to train with Luke. He let him go and watched him crumple to the ground and he rushed over to his side and leaned over him as you and your mother came running over.

“Kes! Honey are you alright?” Shara asks and you look worried as you feel your father over for injuries.

“Ben did you see anything happen?” You ask him and look at him with a frantic and worried expression. “Did he get hit on the head or something?”

“I-uh…I-no I didn’t see anything.” Kylo stammers, not sure what to say in this situation. Kes groans and sits up and Kylo offers his hand to help pull him up and you and Shara pick him up and support him, and they lead him into the main living room to sit down by the fire.

“i just had the worst headache.” Kes says and you go to the kitchen and come back with a cool towel and a cloth to place on his forehead to cool it down.

“I think he has a fever.” You say when you place the cloth on his forehead. “It feels like he’s burning up.”

“It will go down soon.” Kylo assures Shara and you.

“How do you know?” Shara asks and Kylo blushes.

“My mother is a doctor. She’s dealt with stuff like this before.” Kylo explains.

“So what happened to him?” You ask.

“He’s suffered a heat flash.” Kylo explains and Kes groans.

“It has been really hot today.” Kes says. “That would explain it.” Kylo lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Well you just rest up now honey, Y/N do you mind finishing up dinner while I take care of Kes?” Shara asks and you nod.

“Of course. Ben should you help her? You do seem to know a lot about medical stuff.” You ask him and he blushes again.

“Well I’ve never actually practiced it.” He says and blushes. “Mainly what he needs now is just to rest and I’m sure he’ll be fine.” He says.

“Then do you mind helping Y/N make dinner?” Shara asks as she presses the damp cloth to her husband’s forehead. Kylo looks at you and decides he could use the time to help gain your trust.

“Not at all.” He says and follows you into the kitchen. You continued to cut some vegetables and Kylo looked around for something to do. You look up at him with those dazzling e/c eyes and gently take his wrist and pull him over to you. He blushes at the contact as you hand him the knife.

“Can you cut up these vegetables for me?” You ask and he nods and starts to cut them, very poorly and slowly but he tries, in order to maintain his cover. He looks over his shoulder every now and then to see you working, and can’t help but notice how beautiful you are. Everything about you just looked so pure and innocent. Probably because you’ve been stuck on this planet your whole life. You don’t know anything else. Just this simple, worthless life. He almost pitied you for your lack of knowledge of the Universe.

“How long has your family lived here?” Kylo asks as you prepare some sort of meat.

“They came to live here about a year before Poe was born. So about 33 years.” You say and Kylo stops cutting the vegetables.

“That’s a long time to spend on one planet.” He says and you sigh. “You’ve never been anywhere else?” You shake your head.

“No I haven’t been anywhere else. It’s safe here on this planet, and with the threat of the First Order, my parents don’t want us to go anywhere else. They haven’t come to this planet yet. And we won’t leave until they do.” You explain and Kylo nods and continues to horribly cut the vegetables. If only you knew. He thought as you looked over his shoulder to see what a horrible job he was doing at cutting. He looked between you and the vegetables and felt relieved when a smile spread across your radiant face and you laughed. “You’re not very good at cutting vegetables are you?” You ask him and he blushes and you laugh and take the knife and try to correct his mistakes.

“I suppose not.” Kylo says and forces a smile to try to seem nice and innocent. It didn’t work and it just made you look at him funny.

“You’re strange.” You say thoughtfully and Kylo was about to feel insulted by that but then you continued “I like it.” And if he had been drinking something, he would have spit it all out. A beautiful, and innocent and pure girl, likes him?! Clearly she must be joking.

“Really?” He asks and you nod.

“You’re different, and I can’t wait to hear about all the places you’ve been. And all the things you’ve seen.” You say and then put the meat in an oven and Kylo’s eyes widen when he realizes he’ll have to get creative. Next thing he knew he was sitting at a dinner table with your family and they were asking him for those very stories.

“Well it was quite the adventure.” Kylo begins as he tells them a childhood story, that was actually true. He wasn’t a creative person and couldn’t come up with anything else. “I was about eight years old and my dad thought I should learn how to fly our family’s ship.” He starts and Kes, who was feeling much better starts to laugh.

“Oh boy I can tell where this is going.” He says and you laugh too, and that makes Kylo smile a bit and push him to continue to tell his story.

“So I get into the pilot’s chair and my dad is behind me and he’s holding onto the controls as the ship starts to fly. We get up to a good altitude and then he lets go and next thing I know I’m flying the ship on my own. But the thought of it is so terrifying to me, that the moment he says ‘You’re doing great son!’ I start screaming and then the ship nose dives and my dad grabs the controls and tries to pull us back up but I have such a death grip on the controls that he can’t move them so he has to hold onto my hands and steer the ship with me like I’m some sort of a puppet, frozen in place while he steers the ship around to try to get us back on course, while I’m seeing my life flash before my eyes, so then I start to fight against my dad and we start doing somersaults and these really sharp turns in the air and then my dad pulls back hard on the controls with me and we crash land in the woods, and he goes to throw up outside while my mom comes running up to us, scolding my dad for being an irresponsible parent and then snuggling me in her arms since I was still shaking and I got to just stay in bed and get whatever I wanted for the rest of the day.” He says and you were still laughing, which made Kylo genuinely smile a bit more. He learned that he liked your laugh. It was like something that he was dying to hear but he never realized he wanted to.

“Wow so your mom put your dad in time out.” Shara said and Kylo smiles.

“Pretty much.” He says and everyone at the table laughs. It had been a nice dinner. Everyone was polite and passed him stuff and he passed them food, and he constantly apologized for his lack of cutting ability when it came to the vegetables, but they all forgave him for it. Forgiving, that’s something that no one has done for him in awhile.

“Well it’s getting late. We should all probably hit the hay.” Kes says and Shara agrees and they all stand up and say goodnight to each other, even Kylo and then he goes back into Poe’s room and leans up against the door and sighs. Time to get to work. All the light he experienced during the day washed away as he tore the room apart, using his hands and the Force if he could to find any files, information or anything he could about the Resistance. After about an hour of searching he only found little pilot knick knacks and stupid stuff from when he was a kid. He took a little action figure he had of a pilot and in frustration threw it against the wall and took deep breaths to try to control his anger. He didn’t want to wake up anyone in the house. But it appeared he didn’t need to. Because he looked out the window and saw someone leave the house with a light, and go into the jungle. He put on his boots quickly and went outside to follow the light. Maybe someone was going to a secret Resistance meeting? Or going somewhere where they kept a lot of information. He took his ligthsabre with him and followed the person stealthily as they walked down the path. Much to his dark dismay it was only you walking to a clearing and sitting down on a blanket and staring up at the sky. He stared at your form, shining in the starlight and felt himself get pulled into a sort of trance. He felt as if he was being pulled to you and he rose and approached you as you picked up your arm and started to do something with it then heard him approaching and immediately stopped.

“What are you doing out here?” Kylo asks and you blush.

“Nothing. Just staring up at the stars.” You say and look at Kylo Ren and then gesture for him to sit down next to you. He does so and you smile at him. “I liked the story you told at dinner tonight.”

“It wasn’t anything special.” Kylo lies and you shake your head.

“Any time you get to spend with one of your parents is special.” You say and Kylo stares at you for a moment and takes in all your beauty, your s/c complexion, your soft looking h/c hair, and those e/c eyes, full of the starlight. He felt things stirring inside of him that should not be stirring inside of a Sith Lord. She’s so beautiful…He thinks. She has the face of an angel… Then he notices a sort of sadness in your expression and realizes that you can see the tears starting to form in his eyes, when he starts to have these light thoughts about his parents and your beauty. He turns away from you suddenly and tries to focus on the darkness. “Ben?” You ask softly, in that sweet melodic voice of yours. “Are you okay?”

“I will be once I’m off of this planet.” He says and then quickly runs away from you, and leaves you alone in the night and heads back to the house. You watch him leave and sigh and look longingly back up at the sky. As he was leaving he felt a tug in his chest and groaned. He kept walking and then realized it was only getting tighter. “What’s going on?” He groans. “I haven’t felt this, since Snoke told me that the droid with the map to Skywalker was in the hands of my father-” He lets his hand drop from his chest as he remembers the name of the man he talked about in his story at dinner, who tried to teach him to fly the Millennium Falcon when he was eight, and how he failed him. And how he failed him again when he killed him that night on the Starkiller Base, when he fully committed to the dark side and vowed never to go back again. “Han Solo.” After saying that name he realized what was happening to him, and he paled and his breathing grew heavy. “Oh no, not again.” He mutters under his breath and rubs his chest and realizes what’s happening to him. He looks up to the starry sky through the branches in the trees. “Forgive me.” He says. “I’m feeling it again. The pull to the Light. But do not fear. I got rid of it once. I’ll be able to do it again. I vowed the day I killed my father that I would never go back to the Light. The Darkness is the only path for me now. There’s nothing for me on the Light, without my father.” He says then looks back down the path to the clearing where you were, and something inside him gave him a small flicker of hope that, there may in fact be a reason for him to return to the Light. He pushed that thought aside and hurried back to the house.


	3. Things Get Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and you go out into the jungle to collect some fruit and Kylo sneaks away to meet with Hux and give him updates. But he is very displeased with the lack of information.

Kylo Ren was having a nightmare, but this time it wasn’t about him not being as strong as Darth Vader and ultimately failing Snoke. It was about killing his father. There he was again, standing on the bridge, Han Solo in front of him, begging him to stop this violence, warning him of Snoke’s plans for him, reminding him of his mother, trying to pull him back to the Light. But this time instead of his conflicted feelings tearing him apart he felt something different. He felt relieved, he was letting the Light take over, his darkness was leaving him, he was going back to the Light! It was almost too late before he realized what was happening to him and then he stabbed his father with his lightsaber and then he woke up in a cold sweat and shouted “No!”. He looked around and he started to calm down a bit, he was in Poe’s room, on Yavin IV. But then something made his heartbeat quicken more. “Why did I shout ‘no’?” He mutters under his breath and runs his hand through his curly ivory hair. He contemplated on his emotions and felt the pull to the Light again and groaned. He squeezed his fists a few times and decided “I need to get this mission over with as fast as I can.” There was a knock at the door.

“Ben? Are you awake? We heard you talking and a shout? Are you okay?” You ask from the other side of the door. Kylo notices the light streaming in from the window and realized that it must have been morning.

“I’m fine. Just give me a minute.” He grumbles and digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to get the sleep out of them.

“Okay. I made breakfast, so come get it while it’s still hot.” You say cheerfully from the other side of the door and then leave. Kylo smiles softly at your cheerfulness.

“She’s so innocent.” He mutters to himself. “There’s no darkness anywhere in her. She’s pure light…” Then he frowns. “So why am I starting to grow fond of her?” He asks himself. He should loathe you for being so bright, but instead he found himself drawn to you. Why? All of this thinking started to grow doubts in his mind about his commitment to the Dark Side. As soon as he realized that he dismissed his thoughts of her and his dream and got up to get dressed for breakfast.

He wore the same clothes that he had on yesterday since he did not bring any others and he groggily stepped downstairs to find you cutting some sort of fruit for breakfast. You wore similar clothes to the ones you were wearing yesterday except the shirt was more of a tunic that wrapped in her front and you weren’t wearing your long grey sleeves. You smiled at him as he stepped into the doorway and offered him the other half of your fruit. He looked from you to the fruit suspiciously before giving you a soft smile in thanks and taking the fruit from you. As the piece was transferred from you hand to his your fingers brushed gently against each other. Kylo’s heart sped up. It had been so long since he had touched someone gently, or someone had touched him in the same manner. Your skin was so soft and delicate like the rest of you. Pure, untouched by any darkness. He was amazed. He stared at you gently and noticed a blush starting to form on your cheeks. He furrowed his brow a bit in confusion but then realized it was because he was still touching you. He quickly took the fruit and pulled his hand away and turned his face so you wouldn’t see his blush either. “I’m sorry I must have gotten lost in a daze.” He mutters.

“It’s alright…I didn’t mind that much.” You say softly and fiddle with your half of the fruit and stares at it as Kylo turns his head to look at you. He’s about to ask you what you mean by that but then your parents walk in.

“Good morning Ben and Y/N!” Shara says and you smile and go to hug your parents. Ben starts to move out of the kitchen, figuring they won’t want him around but then he feels someone grab his waist. He reacts quickly and jumps back away from Shara who had tried to hug him. They all stare at him in confusion as to why he seemed so alarmed by Shara’s hug.

“Sorry I didn’t expect you to do that. I’ve been traveling for awhile, and I’ve run into a lot of unfriendly people. It’s been a long time since anyone as touched me in a non-violent manner. I wasn’t expecting it.” He apologizes and Shara hugs him again, and this time Kylo stands still and endures it, and slowly wraps his arms around her small frame and pats her back a bit.

“You poor thing!” She says to him. He looks over at you who seemed to be looking upon him with pity as well. “Well don’t worry! We will get you to the Resistance as soon as possible so we can find your family. I contacted General Leia last night and she said she’s more than happy to help you find your family!”

“You did what!” Kylo exclaims in shock.

“I know isn’t it great!” Kes says, thinking that Kylo’s reaction was happy. “We just need to know your parents names and she can contact them and tell them that you’re here and Poe’s already on his way with some friends to come get you and bring you back to the Resistance base!” Kes says and Kylo gulps.

“That’s wonderful.” Kylo says softly and fakes a smile.

“Poe’s coming home?” You ask and your face lights up and you squeal and hug your father when he nods. “When will he be here? We need to clean up and get ready for him!” You say and frantically look around the room for things to clean up in the house.

“Calm down sweetheart we have three days until he gets here.” Kes says.

Then that means I have three days to get as much information as I can about the Resistance. Kylo thinks and then decides to start now. “It will take him three days to get here. Where is he that he’s able to get here in that amount of time?”

Kes is about to say something but then he stops. “You know I’m not really too sure actually.” He says and just as quickly as Kylo’s hopes went up, they fell. “Do you know where they are right now Shara?”

“Actually I think I do.” She says and Kylo smirks. “They have a secret base on some planet nearby that’s agreed to let them stay there. I think they’re even working on allying their forces to help fight the First Order.”

That’s just what I needed to hear. “Do you remember the name of the planet?” Kylo asks eagerly. Shara thinks for a moment.

“No. I can’t say I do. But it’s somewhere in this system.” She says and Kylo mentally curses. “I’ll ask General Leia when I call her again tonight” Shara says and picks up a piece of fruit. “It’s so ripe.” She notes and looks at her daughter. “Did you pick these this morning?”

“I did.” You say and smile and start to eat your half of the fruit. Kylo realizes that he should probably do the same and he inspects it and takes a bite, and instantly cringes at the sweetness. Sith Lords don’t like sweet tasting things. They’re too bright, they make them feel good when they should be feeling pain. You noticed Kylo’s cringe. “Do you not like it?” You ask and Kylo pauses mid bite and looks at you, and swallows while thinking of an answer.

“I wouldn’t say I don’t like it.” He starts. “I’m just not used to sweet tasting things. It’s been awhile since I’ve had them.” He admits to you and you seem saddened by it.

“Y/N I’ll need you to collect some things in the jungle for Poe’s homecoming.” Shara says while looking in the pantry. “We’re all out of his favorite fruits and this place could use some nice flowers to brighten it up. He is bringing friends after all. But that will at least slow him down a bit so we may have some more time.”

“I’ll do it for her.” Kylo offers. Hux would be coming down sometime this morning to see how things are coming along. This would give him an excuse to go to him.

“That’s very sweet of you Ben but you don’t know the jungle like Y/N does. You’ll get lost easily and we don’t want that. If you want you can go with her.” Shara tells him.

“If she wouldn’t mind?” Kylo asks and looks at you.

“I wouldn’t mind at all.” You say but there was a bit of a falter in your voice and Kylo sensed some sort of uneasiness come off of you, as if you didn’t want him to accompany you. After breakfast you take your basket with you and Kylo follows you out of the house and into the jungle. “Be careful where you step.” You warn him. “There’s a lot of roots and vines that make it very easy to trip and fall.”

“Don’t worry I can see where they are.” He says flatly, a bit unhappy that you thought he wouldn’t be able to handle himself in the jungle without your help. Although it was probably true but he didn’t like the fact that you were better than him at understanding something. They head deep into the jungle and then you stop.

“The fruit that Poe likes grows past that clearing. I can gather it but you can’t come with me. There’s only room for one person.” You say and Kylo nods. “Do you mind if I leave you alone?”

“I wouldn’t mind at all.” He says and fakes a smile at you before you smile back and then disappear behind some vines. He immediately pulls out a device out of his satchel and turns it on. He starts to move away from the clearing so you can’t hear him. “Hux are you receiving me?” He asks into the device.

“Yes I am.” Hux says but it comes out a bit fuzzy. “We will be entering the planet’s atmosphere shortly. We’re sending you our landing coordinates now.” Hux says and Kylo gets them and enters them into an app on the device and a map shows up telling him where to go to rendezvous with Hux. Then he loses the signal on the conversation and figures that it’s because Hux had just entered the atmosphere. He would have to move quickly. Just as he’s about to start making his way over to Hux he hears a scream and he sees you fall out of a tree above him and he catches you in his arms without even thinking about it. Shortly after catching you you both stare at each other, realizing what your current situation is. You both stare at each other, your faces are close, noses just barely brushing against each other. “Be careful where you step.” Kylo tells you. “There’s a lot of vines and that makes it very easy to trip and fall.” He quotes you and you giggle lightly and your s/c features blush and he smiles at you, genuinely, not caring that he was a Sith Lord supposed to feel nothing but hate. Right now he was just Ben, and you were just Y/N, and that was all that mattered to him at the moment. He looked deep into her bright e/c eyes and felt himself leaning into your blushing face, and his was a furious red as well. He’d never allowed someone to be so close to him as you were now. He felt your warm breath on his mouth and closed his eyes in bliss. Feeling himself slowly let go, when suddenly Hux’s voice came over the device.

“Kylo Ren are you there? We’re at the site and you’re not present where are you?” He asks and you stiffen and Kylo’s eyes go wide and he kicks the device away. You heard it.

“Kylo Ren? Is he here? Is he on this planet nearby us! What was that voice?” You start panicking in Kylo’s arms and his hopes sink. He remembered he was a monster to you. He was the person that struck such fear and hatred in you. He could feel it radiating off of you, and it crushed his heart a bit. All hope was thrown out the window and he frowned at you and he raised his hand and stroked your hair.

“Don’t worry. He won’t hurt you.” Kylo says and strokes your soft h/c hair a bit harder and then you go limp in his arms. He looks at your sleeping form with that same form of longing that he had the night before. He sets you safely down under some bushes and strokes your cheek. “I will come back for you.” He says and starts to walk away and looks back at you. “I promise.” And with that he picked up the device and set off to find Hux. When he arrived at the ship Hux looked displeased as always.

“You’re late Kylo Ren.” He says and Kylo rolls his eyes.

“I was preoccupied. It took me longer than I thought to get away from the people I’ve been with.” He answers.

“Who have you been with?” Hux demands.

“The Damerons. The family of General Leia’s most trusted pilot.” He says and Hux smiles for once.

“Excellent! The Supreme Leader will be very pleased with you! Hux says and Kylo smiles in satisfaction. "What have you discovered about the Resistance?”

“Only that they have a secret base somewhere in this system.” Kylo says.

“Where?” Hux asks eagerly.

“I don’t know.” Kylo replies.

“Why don’t you know!” He scolds Kylo and he winces. It was hard to be yelled at without the helmet hiding his face. “You’re practically a Sith Lord why can’t you just pull the information from their minds!”

“I’ve tried but they don’t remember it’s not that easy!” He replies, his voice raised lightly. “Don’t worry I will find out where it is soon.” He says. “I promise…” He says in a low voice and Hux nods.

“Very well. I will return tomorrow morning and you’d better give us this information.” He says and Kylo nods and starts to turn away. “You’re blushing.”

“What?” Kylo asks and turns back towards Hux. A look of confusion on his face.

“You’re blushing.” Hux restates. “Why?”

“Because your yelling made me angry.” Kylo says and Hux rolls his eyes.

“You were blushing before that. Why?” He asks and Kylo remains silent.

“It’s none of your business.” He says after a moment.

“Who is in the Dameron family?” He asks. “Parents? Siblings?”

“Two parents, Kes and Shara.” He answers.

“Siblings?” Hux asks and Kylo does his best to keep his expression neutral but he just can’t. Not without the helmet. He sighs.

“One. A sister, younger by two years. Her name is Y/N…” He says and feels slightly happier from saying your name. He liked the way it sounded off of his lips. Hux watches Kylo’s reaction curiously.

“Very well. I will leave you.” Hux says but then walks up to Kylo and gets in his face. “But be warned. I will be watching you.” He says and then turns and retreats into the ship and Kylo watches it take off. After it disappears he sighs, then remembers that he left you unconscious and all alone and uses his device to use the map to find his way back to you, worried about your well being for some reason. But he assured himself that he only cared about you because you had information that he needed, therefore you were an important component in his mission. But deep down, he knew it had a much deeper meaning than that.


	4. The First Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo discovers that you are Force sensitive and he tells you that he is as well and you agree to teach him some of what you know. He starts to discover that Snoke is wrong about some things, and that he may have very strong feelings for you. Meanwhile back on the Finalizer Snoke sends Hux a distress call, telling him that he is unable to contact Kylo through the Force like he has done since he was young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is a huge establishment chapters! A lot of things go down here and the plot really starts to pick up from this point on!

Kylo made his way back to where he left you and contemplated on his conflicting emotions. He was almost done with his training to become a Sith Lord. And he would become one. He knew that for a fact. He had embraced the darkness and there was no force in the galaxy that could stop him from taking this path. But he also could not explain how he felt when he held you close to him in his arms, your frame that fit so perfectly in his long strong arms. And the way you looked at him despite his gruesome appearance. He gently rubbed his scar. How can she stand to even look at my face? He thought. She’s probably never seen such a horrible injury in her entire life! How can she not cringe in disgust and fear at the sight of me! I’m a monster and now thanks to Rey I look like one too! Why do she and her parents not react the way the others do? He thought and then he reached the place where he left you. He moved back the fronds of the plant he left her under to protect you and his eyes widened when you weren’t there.

Kylo looked around the clearing for you but could not find you. Had you woken up already and left without him? Or gone in search of him? His thoughts on your whereabouts were interrupted when he felt a strong presence of the Force nearby. He immediately stood up and followed the pull that he felt. He came to an area covered in foliage, with the shadow of someone moving on the other side of it. He quietly pushed aside a leaf and he could not believe what he was seeing. You were using the force. But it was in a way that he had never seen before. Literally because he was seeing it happen right in front of his eyes. He could see the midichlorians moving with your arm movements. They were bright little particles moving around your arms as you moved them. It was beautiful, like a dance. But a very powerful one. You then quickly bent your elbow and straightened it again and the particles became a beam of light and struck the stem of a fruit and you caught it and placed it in your basket. “Well that’s a lot easier than climbing trees.” Kylo says, coming out of hiding and approaching You. You gasped and held out your hands to him and stepped back as he approached you. “Don’t be afraid I feel it too.” He tells you and you cautiously put your hands down. “How long have you been able to do this?” He asks.

“For as long as I can remember.” You answer and Kylo nods.

“Same here.” He says and steps closer and this time you allow him. “But I’ve never seen anyone use it like you before. It’s always been invisible to me, and to everyone I know and have read about that has had it. But how are you able to make it visible?”

“I don’t know.” You answer. “I don’t know much about it to be honest. I’ve heard stories about the Jedi and the Sith, and how they used the force but my abilities seem different from theirs in some ways so I’m not really sure if it’s even the Force that’s given me this power.”

“It is the Force. I felt it. But a very strong presence of it. There’s only one other person I’ve met who I’ve felt that presence with.” He starts to tell you then starts to wonder if it’s a bad idea.

“Who?” You asks and he turns away from you, not wanting to remember Rey, and how she had defeated him. Then he feels your soft touch on his cheek near his scar. “Was it the person who gave you this nasty scar?” You ask and he pulls his face away from you and you look at him with worry and sadness in your eyes.

“I don’t like to talk about it.” He says and starts to step backwards but then you come forward and wrap your arms around him in an embrace and rest your head on his chest, nuzzling into the crook of his neck slightly. Kylo’s heart was pounding, he felt a surge of emotions he hadn’t felt in such a long time. Warmth, love, acceptance, happiness, all of them came flooding towards him the moment you wrapped your arms around his waist and laid your head near his heart. His eyes were wide in shock but he found it in him to relax and hug you back, his arms sliding around your beautiful frame, wrapping your lower back, bringing you closer to him. He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh and gently rested his uninjured cheek on the top of your head, cradling you close to him, drawn by your warmth and light. For a moment he was at peace, when you were in his arms.

“I’m so sorry such terrible things have happened to you.” You breathe against his collar bone. He hugs you tighter.

“It’s alright. It’s not your fault.” He says and you smile against him.

“You say you can use the Force?” You ask as you pull your head out from under his chin to look at him. He smiles at you, genuinely.

“Yes I can.” He says.

“Show me what you can do?” You ask and he smiles and removes one of his arms from you, while keeping the other one around your waist to keep you close to him. He holds out his hand towards a fruit in a tree and the stem snaps and the fruit flies into his big palm and he hands it to you.

“I can get you a snack.” He says and you laugh and your eyes brighten up when you look at him. He felt like he could get lost in them. You take a bite of the fruit and then offer him some and he shakes his head and pushes it back towards you. “No thanks. I don’t really like the kind of fruit that you guys have here.” He says and you take another bite.

“So what side are you on?” You ask after you chew and he pales a bit.

“Side?” He asks softly.

“Yeah. Are you on the Dark or the Light Side of the Force? Do you know about the sides?” You ask and he looks away from you and thinks hard about what he should say but for some reason he can’t find a truthful answer, even in his head. Somehow all his certainty about his allegiance to the Dark Side became muddled and unclear.

“I don’t know.” He says and you take his hand.

“I’m on the Light Side.” You say. “I know that much.”

“How do you know?” He asks you.

“Because I know General Leia. And I remember her telling me about how she, her brother and Han Solo-” Kylo cringed slightly at the mention of his father. That night on Starkiller all came back to him and he felt his rage and anger building. But then something stopped it abruptly and he returned to the present. Your warm hand was over his heart. “Are you okay?” He nods gently.

“I am now.” He says and gives you a small smile. “I can teach you if you like?” He offers.

“Teach me what?” You ask.

“The ways of the Force. How to wield a lightsabre. How to read people’s minds, and control them-“Kylo starts listing but then you turn away from him and walk across the clearing a bit shaking your head.

"I don’t wish to know those things. Those are Dark things. That’s what the First Order does. It’s leaders strip people of their free will and control their minds for their own purposes. I could never do that to someone.” You say then Kylo approaches you again.

“The Light Side does it too occasionally. But what if it was for a good cause? To help bring the galaxy to it’s rightful state-” He says and you shake your head and cut him off.

“There will never be a good cause to abuse people like that. If the Force wants someone to do something then it will lead them to do it. It’s not up to us to interfere.” You explain.

“But what if the Force wants us to interfere?” Kylo asks.

“Then it will tell us too.” You say. “But it’s not up to us to decide what everyone should do just because we have this power and they don’t. There’s a responsibility that comes with it. We can’t tamper with other people’s destinies, or take advantage of them just because we can. In the end that doesn’t solve anything. That just makes people unhappy, and that’s what the First Order can’t understand.”

“You have a point.” Kylo says after a moment. Snoke had promised him fame, glory, and power if he came to the Dark Side. But is that what he really wanted? Was he happy? Did he want to be happy? In this moment his allegiance with the Dark Side was faltering and in that moment he looked at the woman in front of him and said “Show me. Teach me what you know of the Force. Show me how you see it, how it is supposed to be. If you are willing too?” He asks, and for the first time since he came to the Dark Side, he gave someone a choice. you smiled at him.

“I would love to.” You say and Kylo smiles. “As long as you teach me something in return.” You add.

“What would you like to know?” Kylo questions.

“I want to learn about the Galaxy. What’s out there. What’s it like?” You ask and Kylo nods.

“I’d be happy to pass on that knowledge to you.” Kylo says and you smile.

“So do we have a deal?” You ask and Kylo smiles.

“I think we do.” He says and holds out his hand to you and you take it to shake it but instead he brings it to his lips and places them to the back of your hand and she blushes. His dark chocolate eyes search your bright e/c ones as you pull your hand away and then run it through the grass, making little sparkles of light float up from them.

“That’s the first lesson. Everything has some amount of the Force in it. Some people are just sensitive to it like us and can use it.” You explain and Kylo is amazed. Snoke had always taught him that he was stronger than everyone else because he had the Force. And yet here even in these simple plants the Force was present. He couldn’t deny it. It was staring at him in the face. Snoke was wrong about something. Snoke wasn’t as wise as he thought he was. But this innocent girl, who was merely a speck in the Galaxy, knew something that he didn’t.

“What else is there?” He asks eagerly. He felt something start to awaken inside of him. Something new. A feeling he had never experienced before. Was it the Force or was it something else? He didn’t know but whatever it was it was pulling him to you, and he happily complied with it. You smiled at him and then leaped right over his head and landed on a tree branch behind him.

“Did you just fly?” He asks you.

“Well I wouldn’t necessarily call it flying.” You say and lower yourself down using the Force. “But I have learned how to concentrate amounts of it in certain areas of my body and help exert them to give me a lift when I’m trying to get into a tree.” You say and Kylo smiles at you.

“Can you show me how to do that?” He asks and you nod and come over to him and take his hands in yours.

“Try to take the Force and concentrate on where my hands are. Pull the energy to those spots.” You instruct and Kylo takes a deep breath and closes his eyes and starts to pull, and he feels it. He feels the energy start to concentrate on his hands and you let go of him and he pushes his hands down then flies backwards into a tree, birds flying out of it from the impact and leaves falling from the branches. You rush to him.

“Are you okay?” You ask, half concerned, half laughing.

“I’m fine.” He groans and you offer him your hand and with a lot of effort you help pull him to his feet.

“Let me take you somewhere to practice.” You offer and he lets you lead him out of the jungle to a field, with short grass, leading down to a beach and a large expanse of water. It was a big lake. “There’s less of a chance of you bumping into something out here.” You say and he smiles at you and the two of you continue to practice.

The day goes by quickly. Kylo making some form of progress after trying to concentrate the Force into his hands and feet but he still ended up hurting himself somehow. So you decided to leave that alone for awhile and focus on getting him more in tune with the Force inside of him. You held his hands as he sat on the grass and meditated. Usually when he meditated he thought about things he hated, and the things that fueled his anger as Snoke had instructed him to do. But this time he focused on other things. Like the sound of the water crashing against the sand and the animals that were scurrying about. But most of all he thought about you. He thought about the events of the past two days and how you had managed to make him question everything he thought was true. How he had finally found his place on the Dark Side, but you had made him consider if that was what he really wanted. He never thought he could be so close to someone, he never thought that anyone but his father could bring him back to the Light but maybe you could too. Maybe you were? Could you after how far he has fallen. But he had only met you yesterday, how could you? All of a sudden his mind was transported somewhere. He was on a different planet in his Sith robes, searching through the woods, looking for a specific Force signature. Your Force signature. He came into a clearing and there you were, wearing a lavender colored dress and you had flowers braided into a crown in your hair. His heart surged with happiness. “So you managed to sneak away too.” He says and you turn around and run towards him.

“Oh Ben!” You cry and throw your arms around him and he catches you and kisses you hungrily, right on your perfect lips and you return with just as much passion, your hands running through his ebony curls and his hands holding your body close to his large build.

“Oh Y/N…” He breathes when you finally part for air and you return again, holding his uninjured cheek and placing kisses along his scar. “I missed you so much. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” You pull away and look at him adoringly. No one had looked at him like that in such a long time. “I’ve tried to deny it for so long and I’ve tried to escape it but I can’t. I’m in love. So deeply in love with you. Even though you can’t love me back.”

“You’re wrong!” You protest. “I know that Luke and Rey have told me you’re a monster but I don’t believe it. Not a word. I can’t believe it after I’ve seen who’s underneath those black robes and looked past your scar, and seen the man underneath. I love you Ben.” You embrace in an intense kiss again and then he jumps and looks around him. The scenery had changed again. He was back on Yavin IV and you were holding onto his forearms, steadying him. The sky was dark, the stars were out. The two of you were out in the field all day. “Are you okay?” You ask and he looks at you and he feels those same things he felt in his dream. They were not as strong but they were definitely there. He thought of your lips moving against his, the Force flowing around you, pulling you together. How he thought that someone could never love him, that he was not capable of having those feelings, and yet he felt them. And you had felt the same. Snoke had always told him that he was not capable of love and that no one could love a Sith. But yet in his vision you did. Had Snoke been wrong about something else? And how had Luke and Rey found her?

“I’m fine.” He says, half lying. You smile at him and look around.

“It’s gotten late.” You look up at the sky. “It’s the perfect night to watch the stars.” You tell him and he smiles. Then his smile falters when you shiver as a breeze passes over you. He takes off his light brown robe and wraps it around you, and pulls you close, shielding you from the wind.

“Then I believe it is time for me to hold up my end of the bargain.” He says and you smile and settle in against his chest and look up at the sky with him. He pointed out the different systems to you and you stared at the sky, amazed by how much he knew.

“How do you know all of this stuff?” You ask him.

“I studied the Galaxy a lot. I wanted to know about everything that was out there. And everything that was known about what was out there.” He explains. But he leaves out the fact that he did that as a part of his Sith training to learn about the Galaxies weaknesses.

“Wow you’re very studious.” You comment and giggle a bit.

“I suppose you could call it that.” He smirks and you stare into his dark eyes, and he stares into your bright ones. The entire sky reflected in them. All brightened by her. So this is how she sees things. He thinks and then remembers his vision and starts to lean into you but then suddenly you’re torn from his embrace, and let out a shriek of fear and a cry of pain. “Let go of her!” He commands. He immediately jumps to his feet and uses the Force to push back the man that grabbed you and he pulls you back to him and hugs you to him protectively. Your breathing was heavy and you clung to Kylo and they both watched as the man stood back up. He was an attractive man around Kylo’s age.

“Let go of her? Why? So you can get back to making out with her?” He questions and Kylo’s anger steadily builds.

“Back off Daron.” You demand but he only steps closer and then his smirk morphs into a look of disgust.

“By the Force he’s hideous!” He exclaims. “This is the guy you decide to have a starlight tryst with?”

“We weren’t doing anything! He’s my friend!” You argue.

“He’s the ugliest man I’ve ever seen and he’s totally got the hots for you.” Daron says. “I saw the way he was looking at you. He has desire in his eyes Y/N. I bet he was thinking about doing sinful things to you in this field, like an animal successfully securing his prey and then going in for the kill. And I just couldn’t stand by and let this monster ruin something so beautiful.” He concludes and tears start to form in Kylo’s eyes. Daron was right.

“You’re the monster Daron!” You challenge and Kylo’s eyes widen. “You may be attractive physically but on the inside you’re repulsive! Ben here is the smartest man I’ve ever met. And he has the most beautiful eyes. And we have a connection that I’ll never have with you! So don’t think you’re protecting me from a monster. Ben pulled me away to keep me away from one!” You say and hug Kylo. Daron looks at him.

“What do you have to say? Beast.” He challenges and Kylo’s nostrils flare.

“She wants you to stay away from her. So you’d better do that. If you touch her again I’ll hurt you in ways you have never even imagined possible!” He threatens and Daron seems to be scared. Kylo’s dark energy was returning and it made him powerful. “If you value your life you’ll do as I say and never come near her again!” He commands.

“You’re a freak!” Daron spits at him and runs away. Kylo’s about to charge after him but you place your hand on his chest and stop him.

“Don’t.” You tell him. “He’s not worth it.” You say and Kylo looks at you and sighs. You were right. But so was Daron. That vision he had was just a wish. An illusion. Daron had reminded him of reality. That no matter how much he wished for people to see him differently he was a monster. And you would be miserable with him. He would ruin you. “Let’s go home. My parents are probably worried sick about us.” You say and Kylo nods in agreement and follows you home.

Meanwhile on the Finalizer hovering near Yavin IV General Hux has been called into an emergency meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke. Hux enters the meeting room and the projection of the Supreme Leader appears before him. “Supreme Leader.” He bows. “Why have you called me-”

“Where is he?!” Snoke bellows and shakes Hux to his core. Fear riddles through him and he stammers.

“Who Supreme Leader?” Hux asks shakily.

“Kylo Ren! I have tried to speak to him through the Force as I have since he was born but for some reason now I am not able to!” He exclaims. “Why is this happening?! What are his whereabouts?” He demands and Hux gulps.

“He was on Yavin IV this morning sir. We have not detected any ships coming or going from the planet. He should still be present on it.” Hux explains and Snoke growls in frustration.

“Then why can’t I get through to him!” He says. “It’s like there’s something blocking me! Something keeping me out of his mind. Something keeping my influence away from him!” Snoke bangs his fist on his throne and looks at Hux.

“What information have you gathered from him this morning?” He asks.

“Kylo Ren has taken up residence with the Dameron family sir. He believes that he will soon find everything there is to know about the Resistance with them.” He says and Snoke smiles.

“Excellent. But why is it taking so long? He could just read their minds and find out all of this information instantly. Why doesn’t he do that?” He asks.

“I do not know Supreme Leader.” Hux says and then Snoke ponders something for a moment before asking Hux something else.

“Who is in the Dameron family?” He asks.

“Well aside from Poe Dameron who is not currently with them there are his two parents. Kes and Shara. And then there is Poe’s younger sister Y/N.” He says and Snoke suddenly sits up, his eyes widen.

“How much younger than Poe is this sister?” He asks.

“About two years younger Supreme Leader.” He answers and he sees something that no one has ever seen before. Supreme Leader Snoke, afraid. Hux is astonished.

“Supreme Leader?” He presses.

“Bring Kylo Ren back to the Finalizer immediately! I need to assess him at once!” He demands.

“It will be done Supreme Leader.” Hux bows and Snoke signs off and Hux exits to carry out his orders.


	5. If There's a Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A festival is being held in the village and Kylo offers to go as your date. But unfortunately he is brought back to the First Order, due to Snoke's orders and is unable to take you. Then he has to make a hard decision of abandoning you, or deciding to go down to Yavin IV and risk punishment from the Supreme Leader, just to see you again for one more night, and if there is a chance you could love him even if you knew the truth about his identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some angst in this chapter! But also some fluff! Basically just a lot of emotions! I hope you enjoy!

Kylo and you made your way back to your house in about half and hour and your parents were waiting outside with worried expressions on their faces. When they saw you and Kylo coming they both ran over to them. "Where have you two been?!" Shara exclaims and hugs her daughter and gives Kylo a quick look to make sure he's okay.

"We were worried sick about you Y/N!" Kes explains with his voice raised slightly. "And you too Ben!" He adds. "But Y/N you know how easy it is to get lost in the jungle at night! Even the eldest people here, who have lived in it their whole lives get lost during the night! What if that happened to you?"

"I'm so sorry dad." You apologize and hug your dad. Ben stays off to the side, still unsure if he should get involved. "We lost track of time and the next thing we knew it got dark."

"What were you two doing out there?" Shara asks and you look at Kylo, signaling you wanted him to give an explanation.

"I was teaching her about the galaxy." He says. "I was showing her the stars and pointing out different planets to her."

"But you two were out all day." Kes says. "What else were you guys doing?"

"I was teaching Ben about the jungle." You say and your parents seem to believe it.

"Alright. Since you two spent so much time in the jungle today I suppose you won't mind the fact that I'm not letting you go in it again until after Poe leaves." Kes says.

"But dad Ben is leaving in two days! I wanted to teach him more!" You complain.

"I'm sure he's learned plenty. Besides you have to get ready for the festival too." Kes explains.

"What festival?" Kylo asks.

"It's a big party that we hold every year. Around this time all of the jungle fruit is ripe and all of the animals are in mating season and so we throw a big party to celebrate." You explain although you didn't sound excited about it.

"And you young lady still need to find a date." Shara says.

"I won't find a date this year mom." You say.

"What about Daron?" Kes asks.

"He's a jerk! He called Ben a monster!" You say.

"And he grabbed her arm rather roughly, while trying to 'protect' her by trying to get her away from me." Kylo adds.

Shara looks at your arm and sees the redness that was there where Daron grabbed you. Kes looked angry. "I'm going to teach that kid a lesson." He grumbles and starts to walk away.

"Don't worry Ben already took care of that." You say and Kes and Shara look at Kylo and he blushes.

"Really?" Kes asks.

"It was nothing. I just gave him a stern warning." Kylo says.

"And knocked him to the ground and made him nearly wet himself!" You add and Kes holds out his hand to Kylo.

"Thank you for defending my daughter Ben." He says. "You're a good man." Kylo takes his hand and shakes it.

"Thank you Mr. Dameron." He says and Kes pulls him into a rough bro hug and Kylo goes stiff, unsure of how to return it.

"Oh come on Ben! Call me Kes! You've earned it." He laughs.

"I just feel so bad for you honey." Shara says.

"Why?" You ask.

"Because now it's another year and no one is going to this festival with you." She tells her.

"Mom it's okay I don't mind just going with friends." You answer.

"I know but it's nice to go with someone you might find attractive." She hints and you rolls your eyes. Kylo didn't know what came over him but in that moment he took a chance.

"I'll go with you." He says and you blush and your parents look shocked.

"You would?" You ask and he nods.

"Yeah. Why not. It sounds like it could be a fun time." Kylo says.

"Thank you. I'd love to go with you." You say and the next thing Kylo knows is you are running up to him and then you throw your arms around him in a hug. He stands there stunned for a few moments then hugs you back.

"You're welcome." Kylo whispers in your ear and you smile and rest your head in the crook of his neck. Kylo smiles and snuggles onto you a bit.

"Alright well get to bed you two. You have a long day tomorrow." Shara says. Kylo and you let go of each other and they all head back into the house.

Kylo laid in Poe's bed and had another nightmare. He dreamt about his fight with Rey. Their lightsabres crashing as the planet fell apart underneath them. His rage was fueling him to keep fighting but there was something else that was different too. He was angry because he had lost his father. He regretted what he did. In that momentary lapse his foot got stuck in a hole in the ground and Rey delt a fatal blow on him instead of the slash across his face that had happened in reality. Then he saw Snoke. He was furious with him. "What are you doing Kylo Ren!" He bellowed. "You are failing me! I thought you were stronger than this! I thought you got rid of the pull to the Light when you killed your father! Now all of that is worth nothing because you feel it again! You are a disgrace! A failure! You will never rule the Galaxy!" He threatens and Kylo trembles before him. Then he hears another voice calling him and all he can see is Snoke's angry shouting.

"Ben. Ben..." A sweet voice called his name numerous times before his eyes opened and he saw you straddling him on the bed looking down at him. Kylo stared at you in awe. No one, not even his own mother could break the connection he had with Snoke. Yet somehow you able to. "Are you okay?" You ask. "I heard you scream and I came in and found you tossing and turning. I guess you had a nightmare..." Kylo nods, unable to speak. "Well at least it's over now." You smile and moves a stray lock of his hair out of his face. Your eyes wander down a bit and he blushes when he realizes you’re staring at his bare chest. You reach out and gently touch the scar on his left shoulder, he got it on the same night as when he got the one on his face. He winced when you touched it. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay." He cuts you off and you sigh.

"I'll let you get back to sleep." You say and starts to get off of the bed. Kylo takes a deep breath and grabs your wrist, stopping you.

"Stay. Please?" He asks and you smile at him and get under the covers with him. Kylo's heart was beating a mile a minute, especially when he felt you coming closer to him and soon your faces were only an inch apart. He stared at you. The moon was near full tonight and it's light shined in the window through the curtains, lighting up your e/c eyes. Even in the dark they were so bright. Everything about you was so bright and beautiful. He couldn't believe that you were so close to him, that for once he had some comfort to himself, no Snoke, no First Order, just him and you. But it couldn't last forever. Poe would be coming the day after tomorrow and then he would have to sneak away in the night to get back to the Finalizer. Back to the Dark Side. But maybe just this one night he could indulge in the Light a little.

"Is this okay?" You ask him, he could tell you were fixing your knee length night gown under the sheets, making sure nothing was riding up that might make your current situation awkward.

"It's fine." He answers and gently reaches out and wraps one of his arms loosely around your waist. He would do nothing more, if you did not want to touch him. He just needed that small amount of contact to know that you were there, a light shining in his darkness. "Is that okay?" He asks you and you nod. You look down and see his other wounds and your eyes fill with sadness. He sees a tear slide down your cheek and he catches it with his thumb.

"Why are you so hurt?" You ask him softly and he sighs.

"I'd rather not talk about it tonight." He says and you nod, agreeing to his wish. But then your face comes closer to his and he feels your soft lips on his cheek, on his hideous scar.

"Then don't tell me, but I do want to know some day." You say and Kylo nods and stares at you. He could kiss you. He could take what he wanted and you probably wouldn't object. He could sense your feelings, he could sense you falling in love with him. But he couldn't do that to you. He wasn't being honest with you. You had no idea who he really was. Who's lips you would really be kissing. It wouldn't be right. So he turned his face away from you, to eliminate the temptation.

"Goodnight." He says and you settle down beside him.

"Goodnight Ben." You say and fall asleep. Something about the way you said his name made his heart flutter. He turned and looked at you, eyes closed and falling into a deep sleep. He couldn't help himself. He gently leaned forward and placed his lips to your soft, s/c cheek. He saw you smile a bit and he did too. Then he let his head fall back against the pillow and he quickly fell into a deep sleep.

He woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly well rested. He hadn't had such a good sleep in ages. He shifted a bit in bed and then realized he was holding something, no someone. He looked down and found you, your hands pressed to his bare torso, and your head resting on his collar bone. You were wrapped in his arms and your legs were intertwined. They must have wound up cuddling some time last night. He smiled and gently rubbed his thumbs on your back. You were still fast asleep. He heard something beeping in his satchel and sighed. He reluctantly removed an arm from your form and fished around in his satchel on the ground by the bed and pulled out a device. It was a message from Hux in all caps. "COME MEET ME AT THESE COORDINATES IMMEDIATELY!" Hux never sent out messages in all caps. This must be really important. He took one last look at you sleeping in his arms and placed a small kiss to your forehead. He got up and put his shirt on and started to write a note for you.

Y/N,

I'm going to go collect some fruit for breakfast. I should be back soon.

Ben

He almost wrote Kylo Ren but then remembered why he shouldn't. He put on his satchel and snuck out of the house. He was halfway to where Hux wanted to meet him when he felt something jump on his back. He screamed and was about to hit whoever it was but then he found himself looking into a pair of brilliant e/c eyes. "Good morning to you too." You chuckle and Kylo smiles.

"What are you doing up?" He asks.

"I heard you leave and then I saw your note and decided to come find you. I wouldn't want you getting lost." You say and smile at him.

"I can find my way. I'm taking the same route that we took yesterday. I'm good at remembering things." He tells you.

"I hope so. It's very easy to get lost in the jungle." You say.

"You should probably get home and get ready for your brother's arrival tomorrow." He tells you to try to get you away so he can meet with Hux.

"I have all day. I want to spend some time with you." You say and take his hands and swing them a bit.

"I'll be with you all night." Kylo reminds you and you blush.

"Not all night..." You point out and Kylo's face turns red when he realizes what he might have been suggesting. You laugh. "How about we make a deal? I'll let you collect fruit on your own if you can catch me."

"Deal." Kylo says and he takes off after you. Kylo may have had a longer stride but you knew the jungle a lot better. You jumped over roots, made sharp turns around trees and Kylo had to struggle to keep up with you. Eventually you started running down a straight path he charged after you and started to catch up to you. Then he tripped on a root and fell on top of you. The two of you crashed through some vines and landed in a flowery clearing, Kylo on top of you. The two of you laughing. He looked down at her underneath him, her h/c hair fanned out around her, violet flower petals caught in it. He stayed on top of you and admired you. So beautiful...He thought. So pure. So light...You rolled over so you were on top of him and stared down at him.

"Watch your step..." You tell him teasingly and he grabs your sides and he guessed you were ticklish there because you squealed in delight and fell over and Kylo got up and held out his hand and you grabbed it and he pulled you up. "You win." You say. "I'll head home. Don't go too far. Try to stay on the path if you can." You warn then kisses his cheek, making Kylo's heart leap in his chest. "Come home soon."

"I will. I promise." He says. You let go of his hand and disappear into the jungle.

He takes his device out of his satchel and follows it to where Hux was waiting. When he approached the waiting shuttle the doors opened and Hux came running out. "Kylo Ren!" He bellows. "Why are you late? What took you so long!"

"I was busy, and I had to find the right time to sneak away." Kylo says and Hux grasps his arm and drags him towards the shuttle. Kylo pulled his arm out of his grasp and gave him an angry look. "Just what do you think you're doing trying to touch me?"

"We need to return to Finalizer immediately!" Hux says and and reaches for Kylo's arm again. "Get on the shuttle now!"

"When will I return to Yavin IV?" Kylo asks.

"You will not. The Supreme Leader has cancelled your mission. You will never return to this planet again unless we attack it." Hux says and Kylo takes a few steps back.

"I can't leave yet." Kylo says.

"Why not?" Hux asks, now agitated.

"I haven't gathered all the information we need." Kylo lies.

"That doesn't matter. The Supreme Leader has other ways of getting it now get on the shuttle!" Hux orders.

"I can't!" Kylo protests.

"Why?" Hux shouts.

"The Dameron family will worry. I told them that I would be back by tonight." Kylo says and Hux rolls his eyes.

"Who cares what they think? They're trapped on this little planet they'll just assume you left. It's not like you were doing anything aside from taking residence with them." Hux says. Kylo stays put. "Fine. We will ask the Supreme Leader if you can come back tonight and say your goodbyes to them now get on the blasted ship!" This time Kylo complies and soon he is back on the Finalizer. On the shuttle he changed out of his brown robe-like clothes and back into his Sith Robes. He looked at his helmet, the helmet he hadn't put on in two days. He was sort of reluctant to. But he knew he had to. So he put it on his head and it clicked into place and he was submerged in the darkness again. Hux rushed him off of the ship towards the conference hall where they spoke with Snoke on the Finalizer. Hux pushed guards out of his way and pushed open the metal doors and began to talk. "Supreme Leader I apologize for our lateness-"

"Leave us General!" Snoke bellows.

"Yes Supreme Leader." Hux says and turns on his heel and leaves quickly, the doors shutting behind him.

"Kylo Ren..." Snoke greets and Kylo Ren approaches his transmission.

"Supreme Leader Snoke." Kylo greets and stares up at the massive projection of his teacher.

"Something has happened to us while you were on Yavin IV." He starts. "Something that troubles me greatly. I was not able to speak to you while you were on that planet. I know that I made contact with you last night. You saw me in your dream didn't you?"

"Yes." Kylo says nervously, remembering the nightmare.

"But then something even more troubling happened." Snoke continues. "Something didn't just block my connection with you. Something actually cut it off. My message to you was not finished and something came in and cut me off! Doesn't this worry you!"

"Yes Supreme Leader." Kylo answers honestly. "Not even my own mother could separate us."

"Then something stronger has found you and is pulling you away from my influence!" Snoke despairs. "We cannot complete our training if I cannot influence you."

"Why do you need to influence me to complete my training?" Kylo asks, and Snoke looks stunned.

"What did you just ask me?"

"Why do you still need influence over me? If I am to become a full Sith Lord then I will no longer need your guidance unless I need it. Why would you still need access to my mind to keep me on the path to the Darkness if I am already on it permanently?" Kylo asks. Snoke stands up suddenly, furious.

"Kylo Ren!" He bellows and Kylo can feel himself shake. "How dare you question my methods! Have I ever been wrong before?"

"No Supreme Leader-" Kylo starts but he gets cut off.

"Then why do you think you should question me! You are not a full Sith Lord yet! Nor will you ever attain my position for as long as I am living! Remember your place!" Snoke says and sits back down. Kylo decided that now would not be a good time to ask to go back to Yavin IV tonight. "Now do you know what might blocked our connection?" He asks calmly.

"No..." Kylo lies but not totally. He thought it might be you, but he also wasn't entirely sure that was the case. Snoke wouldn't pick up that he was lying.

"Very well. You're back home now so it should not happen again." Snoke says. "We have more important things to worry about. Such as the location of Skywalker and that girl."

"I will see to finding out that information at once." Kylo Ren declares and the Supreme Leader smiles.

"Good. Carry on then." He says and Kylo leaves.

He walks down the hallway and notices that no one else is around. He takes out his lightsabre and screams and starts to destroy the pristine metal walls. How could I have been so stupid! He screams in his head. What madness possessed me to question the Supreme Leader! Now he's even more disappointed in me! He may even suspend me from becoming a Sith Lord! He stops destroying the walls and turns off his lightsabre and puts it back on his side and rests his head on the wall. His mind wandered and it settled on you. He clicked off his helmet and let his forehead rest against the metal where his lightsabre hadn't struck. He thought about your sweet voice and laugh. He thought about how you smiled when he tried to use the Force like you did. How he kept failing to do it right yet you never cared. When he did something wrong Snoke would hit him. But when he did something wrong around you you would hug him. You didn't care that he was hideous to look at. You didn't even seem to think he was hideous. Is it possible that you thought he was attractive? No. You couldn't. He was a monster, yet you didn't think about him like that. He started to walk down the hallway, carrying his mask in one hand. He thought about how he chased you through the jungle and how the two of you had rolled through the meadow together. You were so beautiful and sweet. He's pulled out of his day dream by the clatter of his mask on the metal floor and a gasp from behind him. He turned around to see Hux, staring at him, jaw dropped.

"Kylo Ren!" He scolds and picks up his mask and thrusts it back onto his chest. "Why would you drop your mask? How could you be so careless!"

"It's none of your business." Kylo retorts.

"Oh yes it is." Hux argues. "You have been extremely irresponsible lately and it is my job to keep you responsible! Now what has gotten into you!" Kylo stayed silent. Hux noticed something strange and pulled a flower petal off of Kylo's hair. "What's this?"

"Nothing." Kylo said and tried to reach for it but Hux pulled back and inspected it.

"It's from Yavin IV isn't it?" He asks.

"Yes now give it back." Kylo says but Hux steps back.

"Why do you care so much?" He asks. "The Damerons, this petal...Maybe you care for a certain Dameron? A rather lovely flower..." He mocks.

"Shut up." Kylo hisses.

"It's the Pilot's sister isn't it!" Hux says.

"Shut up!" Kylo orders.

"Oh my! You do care about her? May I make a bold guess and suggest that you are in love with her?" He asks and Kylo looks at the ground and Hux laughs.

"Oh my stars you're in love with that air headed girl!" He laughs then finds himself shoved up against the wall by his neck. Kylo close to his ear.

"Don't you dare insult her!" Kylo scolds him. "You know nothing about her!"

"I know enough to know she's nowhere near as intelligent as we are, and that her isolated sad little life is doomed to end once the First Order controls the Galaxy." Hux informs him, choking a bit. "And if she knew who you really were she would think you're a monster!" He spits and Kylo lets him go and looks at his helmet. "You know what people like her think about people like us. She would feel filthy just for knowing you. All of those 'happy' memories she has of you will be contaminated with disgust and regret. No one can love a Sith Lord. Especially one with the blood of his own father on his hands."

"Don't mention my father!" Kylo force pushes Hux back into the wall.

"Forget her Ren! She's not worth your time and you have no heart to give her! The man she thinks she may care for is a monster! And if she finds out who you really are that will never change!" Hux says and drops the petal over the guard rail of a bridge where the hallway ended. Kylo Ren quickly put his mask back on and makes his way back to his quarters, tears streaming down his face. He comes into his room and takes off his mask and collapses on the floor by his bed and sobs into his sheets. He hadn't cried in so long, everything came out. His guilt for killing his father, and his heartbreak over you. He wiped his face and looked at his shrine to his grandfather in the corner of his room. He made his way over to it and sat down. "Grandfather." His voice shook. "Help me. Show me what my destiny is, please." He begs and then buries his face in his leather clad hands and cries. Then he sees something. He sees himself, Hux and Phasma commanding thousands of Storm Troopers into battle, planets being destroyed all around them by other weapons of destruction that the First Order was working on, a throne beside Snoke and Snoke himself sitting on it, and gesturing for Kylo Ren to come before him.

"We have done it Kylo Ren." He says and smiles. "We have taken over the Galaxy!" Everyone below them cheers and they all bow before him and Snoke. He was filled with pride.

Then he heard something else. "Ben...Ben..." It was you. Calling out his name. No. Moaning it. He saw you, your hair fanned out like it had been this morning but this time in between two pillows, and he was above you, and you were locked in the most intimate of embraces, lips devouring each other, as you let out little noises of pleasure. Then his vision changed again and he saw you in a white gown with a veil, he felt so in love with you and then he saw his own Uncle standing between them and smiling at both of you.

"I now pronounce you man and wife." He says. "You may now kiss the bride." He says and he pulls you to his lips and you kiss hungrily while everyone cheers around you.

"It's a boy." You tell him in another vision. You were in a bed and looked tired, and in your arms was a baby, wrapped in a white blanket.

"We have a son..." He says in disbelief and you laugh and he smiles and looks at him. He had your e/c eyes but the rest was all him. You hand him over to him and Kylo stares at the tiny bundle in his big arms. The baby smiled at him and laughed. He looked at you and smiled, tears running down his cheeks. "I love you..." He says and kisses you and he opens his eyes and sees his Grandfather's helmet. Kylo wipes the remaining tears from his cheeks and stares in disbelief.

"Why would you show me two visions! One Dark and one Light! How does that help me!" He bellows and stands up furiously and punches the shrine, knocking over the helmet. He saw something next to it. The little violet petal from the meadow this morning. He picks it up and studies it. Then he realized something. "There's a chance she could love me..." He says to himself. "That other vision...I could have that...My father was right! It's not too late?" He asks himself then looks outside. Night would be falling over Yavin IV soon. He approaches the window and touches the glass. "If there's a chance...I have to see if it could happen. Then I'll know what my true destiny is." He decides. "My father..." He remembers something and goes over to his bed. He reaches underneath and pulls out a little wooden box. He opened it and looked at all of his little trinkets from before he became Kylo Ren. At the bottom of them all, some of his father's clothes. He remembered what he said when he got them.

"Dad these are going to be huge on me!" His little ten year old voice whined.

"Then you'll grow into them!" Han tells him and laughs, ruffling his hair. "Now be a good boy for Uncle Luke. You're going to be the best Jedi that ever existed I know it!" He says and Kylo's eyes fill with tears and he hugs the shirt to his chest.

"I'm so sorry dad." He says "I'll give it another chance." He promises to him. "If she can love me, then maybe there is still a path for me on the Light Side. I'll go down to that planet and find out. For you."


	6. Falling in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo sneaks off of the Finalizer to come to the dance with you, but finds that not only is Poe there, but the entire Resistance as well! Including his mother, Rey, Finn, and Luke and the droids! All night he has to dodge them with you, until he decides that he can no longer hide who he is, and reveals his true identity to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter on Yavin IV. The setting will change after this chapter, there is also a lot of fluff and angst in this chapter! It's one of the best ones, we've all been waiting for this one moment! I hope you all enjoy!

Kylo Ren strode down the hallways of the Finalizer, making his way towards a docking bay where he could take a ship down to Yavin IV, his father's old clothes hidden under his Sith robes. Kylo wasn’t too sure what his plan was. What ship should he take? A TIE fighter? The Command Shuttle? He slowed his pace and surveyed the area. Storm Troopers and other officials scurried by him, afraid they would anger him by standing idle. But they did not need to fear him now. He was not angry, he even felt less powerful than he normally was. He felt like a prisoner on his own ship, and he was worried he might get caught trying to escape. He heard some TIE fighters starting up and he looked and saw them leaving the landing bay. He made his way over to an official. “Why did those TIE fighters just leave?” He asks in a normal tone but the official still looked terrified and saluted him shakily and stood stiffly.

“They are just on patrol sir.” He says quickly.

“Very well. You are dismissed.” Kylo says and moves on and the official relaxes.

That’s how he would escape. Kylo Ren was going to steal a TIE fighter and pretend to be on patrol and head down to the planet. He noticed some pilots getting into some other TIE fighters and made his way over to one. He followed the pilot down the corridor that led into the TIE fighter and then preformed a Force feint on him like he did one time with Rey. Another person was coming to man the guns and he did the same procedure on them but left them tucked away in the corridor. He strapped the pilot in on the firing side of the fighter and then sat in the pilot’s seat. After the fighters were scanned to make sure there were two people in each one they were allowed to take off. Kylo thanked the Force he had taken the time to learn how to fly one of these things before leaving the Finalizer. He flew with the other TIE fighters for awhile then slowly started to distance himself from them and make his way closer to the planet. Soon he was on his own and he flew straight towards the surface of the planet. He pulled out his device from his mission and checked what coordinates Hux landed at and guided the TIE fighter to the same place. He landed in a thicker part of the jungle to hide the ship and stepped out of the TIE fighter to change his clothes since there wasn’t enough space inside.

It was a strange sensation for Kylo to be putting on his father’s old clothes. The brown robes he had worn on his mission didn’t hold any value to him. But these clothes represented a different part of his life, and a different person. He found himself holding back sobs as he put on his father’s old blue pants. They fit him surprisingly well. The white shirt was a bit tighter on him, probably because he had more muscle than his dad did. The vest was also a bit small but it wasn’t too bad. He started to cover the TIE fighter more with some foliage he found on the ground but stopped when he noticed his reflection in the ship. He stared at it. He could see his father in himself now. He may have killed him, but he could never fully get rid of him. The guilt of what he did to Han Solo would always be present. But he felt that by wearing these clothes he could at least do one thing that his father wanted him to do. He had to admit they did flatter him a bit. _I wish you could see me in them._ He thinks to himself as he turns away from his reflection and follows the familiar jungle path to the village that he used when he first landed on the planet.

He was amazed when he reached the town. It had changed so much in just the course of one day. There were lights everywhere and festive vibrant colors painted on walls of buildings and strung on streamers overhead. The town was alive with people and festivities. How would he find you? He walked through the streets hoping to bump into you, assuming that you would be taking part in all of the festivities but he couldn’t find you anywhere. Was it possible that you could be out looking for him? The thought made his heart flutter with the thought that you would actually care enough about him to look for him, but then it sank when he realized you might have gotten lost youself. Then he felt something in his chest. A familiar tug. The pull to the Light, but now he realized that it wasn’t pulling him to the Light. It was pulling him to you. He followed the pull he felt and soon he saw you standing in a corner by yourself watching everyone having fun with a sad expression on your face. He smiled and strode over to you. “What’s a beautiful girl like you doing all alone during a party?” He asks and you know it’s him before you even turn to see him. When you do you smile and run into his arms as he holds them out for you.

“Ben!” You exclaim and hold onto him tightly, your face resting against his. Kylo had never felt so much joy before. He never wanted this moment to end. “I was so worried about you.” You say, pulling away and looking into his eyes. Kylo could see that they were slightly red. You had been crying. “You said that you would be right back and you were gone all day! I thought you had gotten lost and I’d never see you again.” Your voice cracked slightly.

“Don’t worry.” He reassures you and gently strokes your cheek with his thumb. “I never want to leave your side again.” He says softly to you and places a kiss on your cheek.

“Where were you all day?” You ask and Kylo sighs. He couldn’t lie to you. Not tonight.

“I’ll tell you later.” He says and you seem to be okay with that. “You look beautiful.” He says and looks you over. You were wearing a lavender dress that was hemmed at your waist, showing your figure and your hair was braided in a crown like it always is but there were little violet and pink flowers in them, like the ones that were in the meadow they fell into today. You were even wearing a little bit of make up. Your cheeks had some blush on them and your lips looked glossier. Not to mention there was even some light purple coloring on your eyelids. It wasn’t much of a difference but it highlighted your beautiful features a bit more.

“Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.” You say, commenting on his outfit. “I’ve never noticed how strong you are.” You say and run your hands along his arms a bit and looked at his chest. He blushed.

“I work out.” He says and you laugh.

“You look like Han Solo in that outfit.” You say and he tries his best to hold back his feelings. “You have to come meet my brother!” You exclaim and pull his hand towards where your parents were with Poe. He was home early. His blood froze.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He asks and you laugh again.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” you asks and blushes a bit more. “I really like you. I want you to meet all of my family.” You say and Kylo’s heart melted. He wanted to give you what you wanted but he didn’t know how. Then he remembered something. Poe had never known him before he became Kylo Ren. And the only times they had interacted were when he had his helmet on. He wouldn’t recognize him. He might just be able to fool Poe.

“Alright let’s go talk to him.” He agrees and you squeal in delight. You bring him over to your family and Kes and Shara both hug Kylo.

“We were worried about you buddy!” Kes exclaims and gives Kylo a strong embrace.

“We thought you got lost in the jungle!” Shara says and hugs him a bit gentler. “Where were you all day?”

“I went out to find some clothes to wear tonight.” He half lies. He slides his hands into his pockets and then feels something. He felt around it a bit, it felt like something small wrapped in paper. He didn’t have time to pull it out and investigate it because Poe quickly approached him and offered his hand.

“Hey Ben.” He says and Kylo quickly removes his hand from his pocket and gives it to Poe. “It’s so nice to meet you. I hear you’re my sister’s date tonight.”

“Yeah. I’m a really lucky guy.” Kylo says and Poe smiles.

“Aw, Ben.” You blush and looks at the ground.

“Well it sounds like she’s a really lucky girl.” Poe says and lightly punches Kylo’s bicep. “Go have fun with her. I’ll bring you over to General Leia after tonight and she’ll get you together with your parents. They’re probably here if you want to look for them. Everyone in the Resistance is here.” He says and Kylo pales.

“The entire Resistance is here?” He repeats.

“Oh yeah we invited them all over.” Shara says and she and Kes clink two glasses of a drink together. “The First Order has been pretty inactive lately and this is such a great time. So we invited them all over. In fact here comes General Leia now.” Kes says and Leia comes over with Finn with a confused look on her face.

“General Leia I’d like you to meet B-” Poe says gesturing to Ben but he turns and sees an empty space where Ben used to be. You turn around also and are confused. Leia looks at the spot with a strange look on her face.

“Can we help you with something General?” Kes asks and Leia shakes her head.

“No. That’s alright it’s just…I thought I saw…” She smiles and shakes her head. “It’s nothing. How are you Y/N?” She asks you.

“Everything is great.” You say and smile at the General. “I’m going to have so much fun tonight with Ben.” You say and Leia’s smile falls. “I’m going to go find him, I’ll catch up with you later.” You say and run off.

“Leia are you alright you seem uneasy?” Finn asks and he and Poe support her.

“I’m fine. It’s just, I came over here because I thought I saw my son. And Y/N said she was here with a man named Ben…” Leia says and Poe and Finn exchange a glance.

“That’s impossible.” A nearly drunk Kes breaks in. “Our Ben is the nicest guy you could ever meet. Protected our daughter from some jerk last night, offered to take her here and everything. I don’t think someone on the Dark Side would do that.”

“I suppose you have a point.” Leia says but still can’t shake the feeling that her son is nearby.

Kylo leaned against a wall in an alley and read the note that he had found in his pocket. It was from his father. And in his hand was a silver necklace, made of precious gems. The note read:

_Hey son,_

_One more thing before I go. I want you to have this necklace. It belonged to your mother, and your adoptive mother before you. It’s made of precious gems from Alderaan. It’s the only thing she has to remember it by. It represents love for her, and that’s what she wants it to mean for you. If you ever fall in love with a girl, give it to her. Trust me girls love jewelry any girl will love you forever if you give her this. We love you too son. That’s why your mother and I want you to have it, and give it to someone you love like we love each other. Good luck with your training._

_Your dad,_

_Han Solo…Fine. And Chewbacca (He begged me to mention him as I’m writing this.)_

He looked at the necklace in his other hand as he put the note away back in his pocket. It was beautiful. It practically glowed in the moonlight. He knew it would shine even brighter on you. He heard you call to him and approach him and he quickly put it away. He didn’t want you to see it yet. “Hey! Why did you run off?” You ask, concern on your features.

“I didn’t want to see General Leia yet.” Kylo explains.

“Why not?” You ask and Kylo sighs. He swore this night he wouldn’t lie to you. They were away from the crowd. Maybe now would be a good time to tell you the truth.

“Y/N…There’s something really important I need to tell you.” He explains and you tilt your head to the side.

“What is it?” You ask, coming closer to him, taking his hands. He’s about to speak but then he senses something and looks up. A bunch of people were dancing by a stage where some people were playing music. Off to the side he saw Luke Skywalker, and to his right was Rey, smiling and gently swaying a little to the music and BB-8 was trilling and swaying with her. Luke looked at her and laughed a bit and smiled.

“Dance with me?” He asks you quickly and you smile brightly.

“Yes! I’d love to!” You say and he smiles and quickly brings you to the dance floor as Luke looks where you were, but missed you and then turned his attention to BB-8 rolling around Rey and then trilling when Poe and the others come over to them.

Meanwhile back on the Finalizer Hux walked over to Kylo’s room. He knocked on the door and waited for a response. Nothing happened. Hux started to get paler, more than usual. “Ren! Open this door right now!” He barks but no one responds. “Oh no…” He says and uses his key that opened any door and swiped it through the slot and the door opened and Hux stepped into the room. Kylo Ren was nowhere to be seen. An official came trotting up behind him.

“Sir I need to report some suspicious activity to you.” He says.

“What is it?” Hux groans and puts his hand to his forehead.

“There was an unconscious pilot found at one of the TIE fighter terminals. The TIE fighter was out on patrol but the others have returned and this one has not.” The Official says and Hux balls his fists.

“Gather the Storm Troopers. We are going down to Yavin IV immediately.” He says and the Official salutes him.

“Yes sir.” He says and turns and leaves to carry out the order.

Meanwhile back on Yavin IV a slow song started playing and Ben blushed. He had never been a good dancer and he was worried you might not like that. “Do you know how to slow dance?” You ask him and he blushes and shakes his head. You smile and take one of his big hands and place it on your small waist. It still amazed him how delicate you were. He was afraid that he might break you, he worried about controlling his strength. You put your hand on his shoulder and took his other hand and brought yourself in close to him, your faces were barely separated. Some people would give Kylo strange looks because of his scar and they would think that he’s ugly and mutter things about how you are so beautiful and you’re dancing with a man so hideous but both of you ignored those comments. You didn’t care, not as long as they were in each other’s arms. You moved together as one, as if your minds were connected. He even spun you around a bit making you giggle, which caught Leia’s attention.

Leia’s heart rate sped up and she gasped softly at what she saw and covered her mouth as tears started to slide down her cheeks. That was her son. She felt so sorry that he had that awful scar but she didn’t care what he looked like, he was wearing his father’s old clothes and he looked so much like him. And he was smiling, and dancing and with a girl. A beautiful girl that Leia had always liked. And it looked like he liked you too. She had to be imagining things. But she wasn’t. She was staring right at it. And she could feel it. Ben Solo was not destroyed. He was alive, and breathing, and…in love. She could feel that too, and she could tell by the way you looked at each other that her son was sweet on you. And she couldn’t be more happy. The song played on and the lyrics fit Kylo and you perfectly. _I found love, where it wasn’t supposed to be, right in front of me._

Kylo looked into your eyes and he saw something he had not seen in a long time. Love. _Can it be?_ He thought and stared back into your gaze. He had only seen his parents and Luke give him this look. And even then it wasn’t as strong as yours right now. _Does she really love me?_ He wonders and he rests his forehead on yours. He loved the feeling of your skin against his. So soft and warm, and comforting. His heart had never been pounding so hard, he had never been so happy. He was in love. There was no doubt about it. And he loved it. He loved you. And that’s why he needed to tell you the truth. Part of him didn’t want to tell you, part of him wanted to hide out here on Yavin IV with you forever and never tell you who he really is. But he knew that was not an option. No matter how much he loved you he couldn’t escape the First Order or the Dark Side. Snoke told him that on the Dark Side he could have everything. But now he knew that was a lie. Because if he really could have everything he wanted he would be able to have you. But Snoke would not allow that. Your nose brushed against his, pulling him from his thoughts. He saw you closing your eyes and leaning into him, your breath was on his lips. His heart was beating fast and he spoke. “Y/N.” He says and you look at him with your vibrant blue eyes.

“Yes Ben?” You ask lovingly.

“I need to tell you something.” He starts and looks around. “In private.” He says and you look confused but nod and lets Kylo lead you off somewhere.

Meanwhile Leia’s removed her hands from her face and she stared at her son and you as you left the dance floor. “Is something wrong Leia?” Rey asks and appears beside her.

“I just saw my son.” She says happily and Luke, Poe, BB-8, Finn, and Rey all freeze.

“You mean Kylo Ren?” Poe asks and Leia nods. Luke gets his lightsaber ready.

“Where?” He asks and Rey reaches for her new training saber. Leia notices this and shakes her head.

“You don’t need to get your weapons ready we’re all fine. He was wearing his father’s old clothes. The ones we gave him before he left to train with you.” Leia tells Luke and he looks confused. “He’s not Kylo Ren any more! He’s Ben! He’s my Ben. He’s come back!”

“What are you talking about?” Finn asks.

“He was dancing with Y/N just a few moments ago.” Leia says and Poe’s eyes widen.

“What?!” He exclaims and reaches for his blaster at his side. “What the hell does that bastard want with my sister?” He asks.

“Remember that’s my son you’re talking about young man.” She reminds him.

“No offense.” Poe quickly adds. “And to think I shook that jerk’s hand and gave him my blessing.” He mutters. “He has a scar on his face?” He asks Rey and she nods.

“I gave it to him.” She says and Poe holds his hand up. She looks confused.

“You’re supposed to hit it.” He explains and she taps it lightly.

“We’ll work on that.” Poe says.

“Where did they go?” Finn asks, surveying the dance floor with Poe.

“I don’t know.” Leia says and looks over the festival.

You and Kylo Ren ran down the jungle path from the village. “Slow down Ben!” You laugh then notice that he’s not laughing. “What’s wrong?” You ask and then he slows down and walks. You catch up to him.

“You’re about to find out.” He says and removes some of the foliage he used to cover up the TIE fighter and you gasp when it’s revealed.

“How did that get here!” You ask and Kylo looks at you with a sorrowful expression.

“I flew it here.” He starts to explain.

“How? Where did you get it?” You ask and he takes your face in his hands.

“I took it from the ship I command. The Finalizer.” He says and you take a step back. He could see the growing fear in your eyes. “I’m the Commander of the First Order. I’m Kylo Ren.” You gasped and covered your mouth and moved away from him.

“No. No. No you can’t be!” You exclaim and tears flow from your eyes. “You’re so nice! And sweet!“

"I’m a monster Y/N.” Kylo tells you, feeling himself start to cry too.

“But you’re not! You’re not wearing all black! You don’t wear a mask.” You gesture to his current appearance. “You’re a man. A man I love.” You say and Kylo’s eyes water more.

“You love me?” He asks and takes a step towards you. You don’t say anything.

“What proof do you have that you are who you say you are?” You ask and he goes into the TIE fighter and comes back out carrying his helmet. You stare at it and you knew that there was no denying it. You recognized the mask from your brother’s descriptions and the Resistance files you had seen. “So you are Kylo Ren.” You say.

“I’m also Ben Solo.” He says and you look at him. “Everything that happened since the day I met you was real Y/N. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I never thought I would care so much about a person as I do about you. Tonight I haven’t lied to you at all. Everything I’ve said to you is true because I can’t lie to the woman I love.” He says and the tears slide down your cheeks. “I’m a Sith Lord, the Commander of the First Order, I’ve killed billions of people including my own father and I love you.” He says and starts to sob a bit himself. “I went back to the Finalizer today because my mission was cancelled. That’s the original reason I was here. To spy on the families of the Resistance and gain information. But after I met you I forgot all about that. You’ve done something to me that few people have been able to do. You’ve pulled me back towards the Light. You’ve shown me what it’s like to be happy. And I love it. I see what I’m missing out on on the Dark Side and I want it. I want you. Do you want me too?” He asks and takes a deep breath. “Do I have a chance?” He asks.

“Ben Solo has a chance…” You say softly and Kylo drops his helmet and you gasp.

“Then keep calling me Ben.” He says and you smile and run into his arms and then neither of you hesitate. He spins you around and his lips lock with yours. It was better than anything he had ever imagined. Your lips were so soft and sweet. He had never kissed a girl before, but somehow with you he knew what to do. Even though his lips were bigger than yours it was like they fit together, like they were made for each other. The two of you became unaware of anything that was going on around you. “I have something for you.” He says after you break for air and he sets you down and pulls the necklace out of his pocket and holds it out for you.

“These are the last remaining gems of Alderaan. My mother wanted me to give them to the woman I love. And Y/N, you are the only woman I will ever love, so I want you to have them.” He says and you tear up but this time in happiness and you pick up you hair and Kylo comes around behind you and puts his arms over your head and rests the gems on your chest and clasps the back behind your neck. He comes back around and looks at you. “So beautiful…” He says and your lips crash together until a large blast is heard from the direction of the towns and numerous shouts are heard. You look down towards the town, eyes wide with fear.

“Ben what was that?” You ask nervously and he holds you close, a protectiveness over you kicking in.

“A TIE fighter.” He says and you look at him worriedly. “The First Order is here.”

“What do we do?” You ask and Kylo looks at you sadly.

“We need to part ways.” He says and you shake your head and hold onto him.

“No! No I’m not leaving your side!” You declare.

“They’ll kill you if you don’t.” He says.

“I don’t care! I love you!” You exclaim and hug him.

“I love you too.” He says and tears start to fall down his face. “And that’s why I need you to get as far away from me as possible. Go to Luke Skywalker. He’s been training Rey to be a Jedi, he can teach you too. He’s powerful and so is she. Both of them can protect you and train you to fight and protect yourself.”

“Why can’t you come too?” You ask sadly.

“Because I’m a Sith Lord. We’re on different sides I can’t come with you.” He explains and you start to cry so he wraps you in another embrace and shushes you and wipes your tears. “Please don’t cry. I don’t want to leave you but I have no choice. I’d rather have you happy and safe away from me than in danger and miserable with me.”

“But I wouldn’t be miserable I would be with you!” You say. “And I wouldn’t be in danger you would protect me! Wouldn’t you?”

“I would do everything I could to keep you safe in the First Order but that wouldn’t be enough. The Supreme Leader wouldn’t allow me to keep you. He would kill you the second he finds out about you. You can’t be with me Y/N. There’s no way around it.” He says sadly. You sigh and rest your head on his chest.

“I’ll go to Luke. But only if you promise me you’ll come find me and we can find some way to be together.” You say and Kylo holds you tighter.

“I promise.” He says and you look up at him and smile.

“Do one more thing for me?” You ask.

“Yes. Anything.” He says. You reach around your neck and pull something over your head. It was a very thin necklace chain.

“Since we’re exchanging necklaces.” You say. “Keep this, as a reminder of me. Of your promise.” You places it in his hand and he holds it to his heart.

“Not a day will go by when I don’t try to find a way to get to you. Or think about you.” He promises and you throw your arms around him and the two of you kiss again, passionately since there was a chance it could be your last, so you both had to drink it in, savor it. “I love you.” He whispers on your lips when you break for air.

“I know.” You say and slowly start to back away from him. You hold his gaze for as long as you can before turning and disappearing into the jungle to find Luke Skywalker. Kylo opens up his hand and is amazed to see a purple Force crystal in his hand. He looks up at the place you disappeared. “I will find you.” He says and looks back down at the crystal. “I will always find you.”


	7. Life Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Kylo adjust to life without each other. Kylo trying to readjust to being on the Dark Side, and the man he was before he met you. And you to a new life with the Resistance, training with Luke and Rey. Needless to say you're both miserable until Leia comes along and brightens your spirits and vows to get you back together with her son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the second part of the story starts here. This part is going to be like the first, a mix of angst and fluff with a super emotional thing at the end of it! There will also be some smut coming up in this part but it's not in this chapter! It shouldn't come up for at least three or two more. I'll warn you when it does! I hope you guys enjoy this new part!

You walked through the halls of the new Resistance base, deep in thought. It had been about a month now since the battle on Yavin IV, and Luke had taken you on as a new student with Rey. You had been training on the same planet as the new Resistance base. During the battle Luke and Rey had jumped into action and now the First Order knew that Luke had returned, so there was no point in trying to hide any more. Luke, Rey and you had now officially joined the Resistance, and were training to fight the First Order. You shuddered at the thought. You didn't like to fight, especially against people you cared about. You looked out of one of the windows and saw your brother and BB-8 working with some other pilots to set up hangars for the X-Wings and other equipment. You thought about what happened that night on Yavin IV.

After leaving Ben you ran through the jungle as fast as you could. You didn't take the path, it would have been too dangerous to take it, TIE fighters were patrolling it to see if anyone was trying to leave. You looked up and saw some X-Wings flying to meet them. A battle was beginning. You had to find her parents. When you reached the town you were scarred by what you saw. Half of the village was in flames and there were people trying to flee it but the Storm Troopers caught them before they could escape. And those that made it to the jungle ended up getting burned as the fire spread from the village to the jungle trees. You had to find your parents. You found an opening in an alley and ran into it. You peeked out from around the corners and looked around, trying to find your parents in all the chaos. You locked eyes with a Storm Trooper and ducked before it shot you and you hid behind the stands and barrels and made your way along the edge of the village square. Suddenly you heard two lightsabers get turned on and you looked up and saw Luke and Rey skillfully slicing and stabbing Storm Troopers while Resistance members shot them and others helped the villagers get to safety. Some shuttles from the Resistance were docking in the clear areas and people were being ushered onto them to be transported somewhere safe.

You saw your parents being cornered by Storm Troopers, they were getting ready to fire but there was no one near them to help them. You knew what you had to do. You stood up from your hiding place and gathered the Force in your hands and shot it at the Storm Troopers. As soon as your arm went out they all flew away from your parents. Some into burning buildings, others on the ground. Now you had been noticed. Other troopers left helpless citizens alone and went to meet this new threat that was attacking them. They shot at you but you deflected their blasts. You worked on gathering up as much Force energy as you could. Soon you could see it, a bunch of white wisps starting to surround you, absorbing the blasts from the Storm Troopers guns. One by one you sent off little wisps around the square as you created them to different troopers that were close to hurting people. Soon the square was full of little wisps knocking away the troopers into the blast of a Resistance gun, or to Rey or Luke to kill with their lightsabers. Now the battle had started to turn to their favor. You made your way over to Luke and Rey, knocking troopers out of your way with the Force as you went.

"How did you do that!" Rey called to you as she and Luke stood back to back killing and deflecting troopers as they approached.

"The Force!" You replied.

"That's not how the Force works!" Luke calls to you and stabs a trooper straight through the chest. "I've never seen a Jedi or Sith that can do that!"

"Well to be fair none have us have met many Jedi or Sith!" You yell back. "There's not as many as there used to be!"

Rey killed the last Storm Trooper and then there was a lull. "Are you on our side?" Rey asks and you nod.

"I'm on the Light Side of the Force." You say and Luke looks at you thoughtfully. "I'd like to train with you. If you'll have me..." Luke smiles.

"I'd be happy to take on another student." He says and you smile and hug him.

"Thank you so much! I promise I won't let you down!" You say and he laughs.

"You're welcome. Rey could use a training partner, and a friend. The Force knows she'll probably get bored spending all her time with me soon." He explains and Rey laughs. More Storm Troopers started to approach them and they got into position to fight them off. Then you saw something behind them, off to the side. Ben Solo, no, this wasn't her Ben. This was Kylo Ren. He wore his Sith Robes and helmet, his black hood concealing him even more. So this was the monster everyone is so afraid of? You could see how he would be intimidating but you thought differently of him since you had seen the man underneath the helmet. You had befriended him, laughed with him, danced with him, embraced him, kissed him, and promised him your heart. How could he be so evil? You could sense his confliction as he looked around the village and saw it burning. He felt guilty about what he did. He didn't get a chance to brood long because Rey let out a cry and charged at him and soon Kylo had his saber ready and the two of them started fighting.

"Rey!" You called out to her and ran after her, Luke also in pursuit. Rey was really letting Kylo have it.

"What did you want with Y/N!" Rey yells at him as their sabers clash. "Leia saw you with her! What were you trying to do! Steal her thoughts and kill her after?" Kylo used the Force and knocked Rey to the ground.

"I would never hurt her!" He bellows and your heart flutters for a moment but then it freezes when he swings his saber down near Rey.

"No!" You call out to him and he stops mid-swing. His eyes lock with yours. Luke looked between the two of you, trying to figure out what was going on but then Rey sneaks under Kylo and stabs his leg. It would leave another nasty burn. Kylo cried out in pain and held his thigh. "Rey stop!" You call to her just as she's about to chop off his head. She looks at you, breathing heavily, her eyes filled with anger.

"Why shouldn't I?" She asks you. "He manipulated you! He killed Han Solo! Why shouldn't I slay the beast." She spits at him and all three of them look at you.

"Because there's still light in him." You say.

"How do you know?" Rey asks.

"I've seen it." You say, tears in your eyes. Luke looks at the necklace on your breast and then he knows.

"Leave it for another day Rey. Unlike the Sith, Jedi show mercy." Luke says and he looks at you and Kylo carefully. He saw how Kylo looked at you longingly, even with the mask on he could tell that he must have tears in his eyes behind the mask. It was the same expression you had when you looked at him. He saw you lean forward a bit and thought that you would approach the Sith Lord. Kylo's arms started to move a bit as if he was going to hold his arms out to her to accept you. But Luke quickly grabbed your arm and pulled you away, breaking the trance. It was a bit sudden and forceful for the delicate girl, you winced from the slight pain. This triggered something in Kylo like it did that night when Daron grabbed you. Kylo Force pushed Luke away and he let go of your arm and fell backwards before getting back up, his lightsaber turned on and ready to fight.

"Ben it's okay he didn't hurt me!" You plead to him and hold out your hands to him to keep him from advancing to Luke. The two men stared at each other, and a sort of understanding seems to pass between them. Luke takes your arm again, gentler this time and they slowly back away from Kylo Ren and towards a shuttle to take them off of the planet. Your gaze only broke from his when you had to run onto the shuttle. Then you turned around and your eyes locked again even though they were on opposite sides of the square. That same longing resurfaced and Kylo took a hesitant step forward, only to be separated from you when the doors slid shut. But you saw it, and that's how you knew he still loved you.

You sighed and sat down on a cushion by the window and looked at the gems around your neck. They glittered in the sunlight, and made white reflective mosaic patterns on the walls. You heard hurried footsteps approaching. You turned and smiled to see Rey running towards you, a big smile on her face. "Where have you been!?" She asks and sits down on the cushion next to you. "You're missing out on all the fun! The pilots have been doing X-Wing tricks and I taught BB-8 a few more tricks." She says and then her smile fell. "You're always so happy during training. Why don't you go outside anymore?" You smiled sadly at her and looked down at your necklace.

"It's a long story Rey. I'll come out later tonight to play games with you, Finn and the other pilots I promise." You say and give Rey a reassuring smile and then hug her. The two girls had bonded over the course of the month they had trained with Luke. You had become a big sister to Rey and loved her cheerful smile and eagerness to learn new things about the Force. Rey smiled at you and ran off down the hall, BB-8 trilling and rolling close behind her. They were adorable. Soon you were pulled from your thoughts again as R2-D2 came screaming down the hall and hit the wall next to the window seat you were sitting on, letting out a few annoyed beeps and shaking his head.

"Oh R2!" Leia says and comes running after the droid, kneeling down beside it and fiddling with some dials. He beeped at her. "Well that's what you get when you run away from me before I finish updating your software!" Leia scolds the droid and she turns to you and she blushes and Leia smiles at you and then does a double take when she sees what's around your neck. "Is that my..." She starts and gently reaches out and touches the gems. "It is..." She says and tears up and looks at you. "The last gems of Alderaan...And more importantly...The last thing I gave my son before I sent him to train with Luke." She says and stands up and sits down on the window seat next to you, holding your hands. "The necklace Han and I told him to give to his true love." You were blushing horribly and your heart was pounding just like it had on your last night on Yavin IV a month ago.

"His true love?" You squeak out and Leia nods.

"He gave this to you didn't he?" She asks and you nod.

"Yes. He did. After he told me that he was Kylo Ren." You explain and Leia sighs and looks out the window. "And I told him that I still loved him and kissed him." Leia whips her head back towards you and she covers her mouth with her hand and her eyes light up with joy and she hugs you.

"Oh my stars." Leia sobs and holds onto you tightly. You didn't know what was going on but you hugged Leia back, feeling like she needed it. "So there is still hope." She says after pulling away from you and wiping away a few tears.

"Hope for what?" You ask her, feeling a bit confused.

"For my son to come back to the Light." She explains.

"But he killed his father." You tell her. "That sealed his fate on the Dark Side. He can't come back now?" You think out loud. "Can he?"

"Yes he can. Because of you." Leia explains and your heart starts to fill with hope.

"When he told me that he was Kylo Ren he asked me if there was still a chance I could love him." You start to explain. "I told him Ben Solo has a chance. So he told me to keep calling him Ben." Leia gasps and hugs you again. R2-D2 beeps in shock.

"I knew it!" She says. "I knew there was still Light in him! And now with your help we can bring him back home."

"But we don't know where he is." You explain. "He told me he couldn't escape the First Order, he's still Kylo Ren. He let me go." She adds sadly and Leia takes your hand and wipes away a tear that rolled down your cheek.

"He let you go to protect you." Leia explains. "He's uncovered a part of himself to you that no one, not even I have seen. He's shown you the part of himself that is vulnerable and unsure of what to do. Snoke took advantage of him like that and led him on a path to darkness. You however have shown him a different path, a path to the Light."

"But in the end he still let me go, and chose the Dark Side." You explain and Leia scoffs.

"Why are you being so negative?" She asks. "You love him, why do you think that there is no hope for him to be with you?"

"I want to believe it General." You explain. "I really do. But Luke has told me the facts. Kylo Ren killed his own father and extinguished any Light that was in him. And now he's back with the First Order and I'll never see him again. I may have been able to pull him back for a few days but in the end he chose the Dark Side over me. It's too late."

"Then why did he tell you to keep calling him Ben?" Leia explains and then something clicks inside of you and you look to Leia to explain it to you. "When he killed Han he extinguished all the Light that was still in him when he first became Kylo Ren. He was completely submerged in the darkness now, no strings attached, nothing left for him on the Light Side."

"What about you?" You ask and Leia shakes her head.

"I never had the relationship with him that Han did." She says. "I was always too busy to take care of him. I used to let him hang out with the woman that cooked meals for me and Han. He probably thought of her as more of a mother to him than me." She says sadly and you place your hand on Leia's shoulder. "When I found out Snoke had been influencing him I didn't have a strong enough connection with Ben to keep him from going to the Dark Side. I thought Luke would be able to get to him because he's powerful but apparently not even that stopped Snoke. No one could get through to Ben and stop Kylo Ren from happening. Until you." Leia says and you blush a bit. "You met him when he was completely committed to the Dark Side, when Snoke's influence was the most powerful on him and yet somehow you broke their connection. You blocked out Snoke and got through to him! Y/N, when you met him you took away Snoke's influence and left him alone to his own thoughts and decisions and lit a spark, that over those past few days grew into a flame. A small one, but still a little light that blocked out his darkness. He's allowed himself to be tethered to the Light again, Ben wants to come home! He let you go because he's still unsure of his fate and Snoke still has a strong influence on him. He doesn't want to end up killing you, he would want you to stay away from the First Order." Leia thought for a moment. "So why would he send you to the Resistance? He knows he would meet you in battle if you came with us..."

"He told me to go to Luke." You explain. "He didn't say anything about the Resistance. He must have thought we would be on some isolated island, away from the First Order and the Resistance." Leia's eyes widen.

"So he does want you to stay away. So he doesn't have to kill you." Leia says. "You're his light Y/N. He wants to keep you safe and away from the First Order so he doesn't have to kill you. So he can still have hope that he can be happy." You started to tear up and Leia gently touched the gems on the necklace. "He's given you this as a symbol of the light within him, and how it's connected to the love he has for you. As long as you're alive and he loves you there's hope."

"He still loves me." You say and closes your eyes and touch the necklace and smile. "I can feel it." Leia smiles.

"Do you still love him?" Leia asks and you blush and nod.

"My heart is still filled with mixed feelings because of the fact that he's Kylo Ren. But that love for him is still there. I don't think I'll ever stop loving him." You explain and Leia smiles.

"Then we'll have to find a way to pull him back." Leia says.

"He promised he would find me again someday." You say.

"Then we will have to see to it that he does." She answers and holds your hand tightly. "And make sure that this time, he gets pulled back to the Light, instead of further into the darkness."

Meanwhile on the Finalizer Kylo Ren is in the Command Center and about to get an update from his staff that they haven't found any clues about where the Resistance may have gone after the attack on Yavin IV. The Resistance didn't try to defeat them this time. They didn't have enough men to defeat all of the First Order's forces. They were more concerned with protecting their loved ones, so all they did was hold off the First Order's attacks and escape the planet through hyper speed to another system somewhere in the Galaxy. And now the First Order was trying to figure out where. Surprisingly Kylo didn't act too upset that they hadn't found anything yet. Usually when he was presented with a lack of information he would throw a tantrum and destroy some consoles but this time it was different. A Lieutenant approached him. "Sir." He coughs and Kylo turns to face the man, his data pad trembling in his hand. "We have not found any information about the location of the Resistance." He says quickly and then cowers and covers his head with his arms. Everyone braced for the sparks to come flying out of the nearby console. But they never came.

"Very well. Keep working. Report to me when you find something." He says and everyone looks at him, eyes wide in surprise. General Hux, who was working below him looked up to his Commander on the balcony and squinted his eyes at him suspiciously. "What are you all looking at!" Kylo shouts to all the people who were staring at him and they all quickly turned around and got back to work as the Knight stormed past them and exited the Command Center, Hux watching him with a curious expression the entire time.

Kylo didn't want them to find the Resistance any time soon. He knew that once they found them they would find Luke, which means they would find you. And he would be forced to kill you. The thought made his heart break. He didn't want to lose you. He wanted to be with you. He wished that Snoke would let him be with you but he knew that wasn't possible. Jedi weren't supposed to have any attachments because it could lead them to the Dark. And Sith weren't supposed to have any attachments because it led to weakness, and the Light. But you were one attachment he wanted to keep. But he could never see you. No matter what side he was on he wouldn't be able to be with you and that made him mad at himself. He stormed into his quarters and took off his mask and threw it against the wall with a growl of frustration. "Why do I have to have these powers!" He exclaims and punches a wall, hurting his hand but he didn't mind the pain. He was feeling much worse internally. "Why can't I just be normal, and live a peaceful life on an isolated planet somewhere where there's no pain. No abandonment. Just me and Y/N, and nothing keeping us apart." He mutters and buries his face in his palm. Then he hears a meow from the doorway. He picks up his head and sees an orange tabby cat stare at him and walk into his room, coming to rub itself on his leg. "What are you doing here Millicent? Shouldn't you be with Hux?" He asks and moves his leg away from the General's cat. For some reason Millicent liked to be around him. He had no idea why. Kylo thought that everything living hated him, except for those with the First Order. Maybe that's why the cat liked him? Because it was a First Order cat. But it hadn't been born here. Hux found her when she was a kitten when they were raiding a village and wanted to keep her as a pet. He had no idea why and never bothered to ask. But the cat had imprinted itself on him just as much as it had on Hux. Maybe it was because- Kylo realized then what the cat wanted and he smiled at her. "You want more bird don't you?" He asks and the cat meows and stretches up on his legs, her claws getting caught on his robe a bit but he didn't care. He took it off and laid it on his black leather chair in front of his grandfather's helmet and made his way over to another door. "I'm surprised you remember that I gave you some when you first came. You were only a kitten, and it was four years ago. Sure I slip you a little something now and then but I had no idea you would remember that and follow me." He says and opens the door and steps into a kitchen, Millicent following. Kylo opened one of the steel fridge doors and took out a skinned bird of some sort that looked like a chicken. "Lucky for you I was planning on cooking this today." He tells Millicent and she sits down patiently by the island of the kitchen while Kylo got out the pan and other things he would need to cook the chicken. It was really simple, all he had to do was season it and bake it. He used a basting brush to cover it in butter, and then he sprinkled salt, pepper and some thyme all over it. Millicent meowed and stretched up on him. "Sorry Millicent. You'll have to wait an hour." He says as he brings the chicken over to the stainless steel oven and puts it in, setting the timer for an hour.

Kylo got to work on some other things like making a salad to go with his chicken. As he got out some spinach he thought about that first morning on Yavin IV when he was pretending to chop vegetables horribly. He didn't want you to know that he knew how to cook. You would ask him to make him something and probably hate it. He always thought the stuff he made tasted fine but he thought that because he was a Sith Lord his tastes would be different from everybody else's and that they wouldn't like his food. Besides it's not like he had anyone to share the food he made with anyway. Aside from Millicent. He heard someone open the door and he quickly ran out of the kitchen and shut the door so no one saw what was going on in there. Hux had come into his room. "Have you seen Millicent?" He asks Kylo in an annoyed tone. Millicent meowed from behind Kylo. "Come here Millie." Hux coos and holds out his arms for the cat. She comes trotting over and jumps into Hux's arms. "Good kitty." He says and narrows his eyes at Kylo. "What were you doing in that room with her?" He asks and Kylo rolls his eyes.

"Nothing." He answers.

"Really?" Hux persists. "Nothing?" He says and steps closer to the door. "What's in that room I wonder?"

"None of your business." Kylo replies coldly.

"You had my cat in there with you clearly it is my business." Hux retorts and sniffs the air. "Do I smell chicken cooking?"

"It's probably the cook downstairs making my dinner." Kylo says.

"I doubt it. The food they serve us doesn't smell anything like that." Hux says in an exaggerated tone. Kylo felt his stomach drop. Hux's tone suggested that he hated the smell coming from his kitchen. People really would hate his cooking. "Just stay away from my cat. If you've done anything to her you will pay for it." He says and points a finger in Kylo's face.

"I don't want anything to do with your stupid cat anyway." Kylo says and Millicent meows at him. She looks at Kylo with a hurt expression on her face. For some reason Kylo felt bad for hurting her feelings, even though she was just an animal and probably had no idea what he was saying. Or did she understand him?

"You shocked quite a lot of people in the Command Center today." Hux informs Kylo and pets Millicent.

"Did I now?" He asks.

"Yes. Given your usual behavior I suspected that you would have destroyed half of the consoles on the bridge. But you handled yourself so calmly this time. I'm very surprised. And so was everyone else. If you keep up this behavior they'll think you've gone soft." Hux says. "I suppose you have in a way. Considering you do have a soft spot for that scrappy pilot's sister Y/-" He was cut off by Kylo Force choking him. Millicent jumped out of Hux's arms and ran out the door.

"You're not worthy enough to even say her name." Kylo says sternly. "But it's over. I've let her go. She's where she belongs." He says. His tone was stern but inside he felt his heart breaking at the words he was saying. "You will not need to worry about my affections for her anymore. I will never see her again." He says and releases Hux and leaves him gasping for air on the floor. "Now I suggest you leave and get back to work, before I need to inform Supreme Leader that you are slacking off." He says and Hux narrows his eyes at him again.

"I don't think you're the best person to be lecturing me about distraction." Hux says. "I can always tell him about your little crush on the Dameron girl. Now which news do you think he'll become the most upset over?" Hux asks and Kylo's jaw sets. "Exactly. Remember where you stand. I'll be watching you." Hux says and leaves.

Kylo sighs and goes back into his kitchen. His got back to work on his salad and soon his chicken was ready. He sat there all alone to himself and thought about you, how he would love to share this meal with you, and snuggle on his couch or in bed together afterwards. But he was a Sith Lord, he left all of that behind on Yavin IV. He sighed and took another bite of his chicken. He heard a meow and some scratching on the kitchen door. He goes over to it and opens it up to see Millicent. He smiles and lets her in. He gets a plate and puts some of the chicken on it and gives it to her. "Do you like it?" He asks but she doesn't reply, she only keeps eating. "I'll take that as a yes." He says and pets her, happy to have someone to share his food with.

Meanwhile back on the Resistance Base you were with Rey, Finn, and the other pilots watching BB-8 and her brother attempt to set up some fireworks. "Poe you'll hurt yourself!" You warn your brother but the other pilots just laugh and Poe waves you off.

"Relax Y/N. I know what I'm doing." He says and BB-8 trills in agreement. "Alright let's light this puppy up!" Poe says and runs back to where the other pilots are with BB-8 rolling behind him. "3,2,1..." He says then hits the button and the fireworks go off but instead of firing straight up in the air they go down the runway and into a tree. Lighting it on fire and some pilots run to it with a fire extinguisher. You look at your brother with your arms crossed. "I guess I just need to fix the stability of the launching pad." He says.

"You think." Rey says.

"You'll keep working on it Poe." Finn says and claps his buddy on the back. "I'm sure you'll have them ready for Luke and Leia's birthday in time."

"Speaking of Leia..." You mention and look over towards the hangar where the General was running towards them.

"What was that?" Leia asks and looks at Poe.

"Just some testing on the new blasters for the X-wings." Poe lies.

"Alright. Just make sure they don't set the new base on fire." She tells him sternly.

"Yes General." Poe says and salutes to her then runs off with BB-8.

"Y/N can I talk to you for a minute?" Leia asks and gently takes your arm and leads you aside from Finn and Rey.

"What is it Leia?" You ask when you're alone.

"I've found it!" She says happily.

"What?" You ask.

"A way to contact Ben and get you two back together!" Leia says and your heart starts pounding rapidly.

"How?" You ask.

"There's an old abandoned castle far away from this base, practically near the other side of the planet and I'm giving it to Maz, an old friend of Han, Luke and I. Her old cantina got destroyed on Takonda so I thought I would offer her this new one I found. And not only is that place good for her, but it's a secret place that you and Ben can meet!" Leia explains.

"So you want Ben and I to sneak away from the Resistance and the First Order to meet up at a cantina?" You ask and Leia nods. "How will we contact him?"

"I'm going to pretend to be a spy for the First Order, and give a tip to Kylo that the Resistance might be hiding out on a planet in this system, then he'll sense your Force signature and sense that you are present nearby and he'll follow it straight to the cantina and into your arms!" Leia says.

"I don't know." You say. "It sounds risky. Wherever Kylo goes the First Order will follow. He might end up just attacking this system instead of sneaking away to find me."

"That's a risk we'll have to take." Leia says. "But there is still Light in him. I know it. There has to be hope." She starts to cry and you hug her. "I've lost too many people I love to the Dark Side, I need to know that my son can come back. And you're his only hope." She tells you and you sigh and looks at the gems on your breast.

"Okay Leia. Let's do this." You say and Leia smiles.

Back on the Finalizer, Kylo was getting ready for bed. He lazily walked out of his bathroom in black pajama pants and got under his silky black sheets on his massive bed. He knew he wouldn't get much sleep tonight because Snoke was bound to send him another nightmare, and without you there was no one to stop it from happening. Then he remembered something. He went back into his kitchen and pulled out a little box from one of the cabinets. Inside was the little purple crystal you gave him, as a promise that he would see you again. He gently placed his lips to it and tried to recall what yours felt like. He missed them. He missed you. He put the little silver chain around his neck and went back to bed, holding the crystal in his fist, hoping it would allow him to sleep without any nightmares, if he had this little piece of you to keep Snoke and the Dark Side away for the night. It was like a night light. And you were his light.


	8. Seeing You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Kylo Ren again at Maz's new cantina and your love rekindles and a flame of passion starts to burn between the two of you. The two of you formulate a plan to meet in secret, that involves the Knights of Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so I'm bringing in the Knights of Ren and my own headcanons for them into this story! This one's super fluffy and a little smutty ;) I hope you enjoy!

“Again.” Luke commands as you spar with Rey. She charged at you with her lightsaber and you created a shield in front of you that blocked off her advance and sent her back onto the ground a few feet away. You brought the shield down and shot the Force at her through your hand but she rolled away and jumped at you. You made another shield on top of you but Rey managed to nick you with her training saber, cutting your shoulder a bit. She rolled on the ground on the other side of you and pushed you back with the Force, before getting on top of you, ready to strike you with her saber. You gathered the Force in your hands and pushed on her saber, sending it out of Rey’s hands and off to the side of the room. “Good job!” Luke comments as Rey gets off of you and you stand up. “Is that a new trick Y/N?” 

“Yeah I just came up with it.” You say proudly and Luke smiles. 

“I like it.” He says. “You’ll be able to stop a lightsaber directly with your strength rather than relying on the strength of your saber. Are you still sure you don’t need one?” 

“Have you seen what she can do with the Force?” Rey points out excitedly. “She doesn’t need one, and honestly it seems like she’s stronger without it! Kylo Ren will have never faced an opponent with her style of fighting before. He won’t know what hit him when he faces her and she ends him once and for all!” She says passionately and you swallow a lump in your throat, at the thought of having to kill the man you love. Luke seemed to pick up on that uneasiness and rested his hand on your shoulder. 

“Remember that is not the only reason I am training the two of you.” He reminds Rey. “Jedi are the keepers of the peace. And while killing Kylo Ren will help bring peace to the Galaxy, it is not the only thing that we are focused on. Revenge is not the way of the Jedi Rey.” He reminds her and she nods and goes to get some water. 

“I have noticed that whenever Rey mentions Kylo Ren, uneasy feelings wash over you.” Luke says in a concerned tone. “What did he do to you on Yavin IV?” 

“He did nothing to me.” You say honestly. “Aside from have me grow close to him.” 

“You developed some strong feelings for him?” Luke guesses and you nod. He sighs. “He is a Sith Lord Y/N. And you are going to be a Jedi. You two can never be together as long as you are on separate sides.”

“But what if I could bring him back to the Light?” You suggest and Luke smiles. 

“If only that were still possible.” He sighs. “I’m afraid there is no more Light left in my nephew. It was destroyed when he killed his father.” 

“There is still Light in him.” You plead. “I saw it. I brought it out of him.” 

“He was only using you for information Y/N.” Luke tells you. “He didn’t actually care about you. He can’t.” 

“But he did! He told me who he really was that night at the festival, and then he kissed me and said he loved me. He knew he had nothing left to gain from me and he showed me who he truly is. He’s Ben Solo.” You explain. 

“No he’s not and he never will be.” Luke says. “Did he know about your powers before that night?” You nod. “He was trying to seduce you Y/N. To the Dark Side.”

“Then why did he tell me to come train with you?” You ask. 

“I don’t know but his intentions cannot be good.” Luke says. “Just stay away from him. He’s dangerous, especially when we don’t know what he’s planning. I urge you to stay cautious.” 

“I will master Luke.” You say and he smiles. 

“Go get some water. You and Rey can rest for the rest of the day.” He says and you leave the training room. 

“I’m so glad I found you!” Leia says as you walk out of the training hall. 

“Oh my stars Leia you scared me!” You say and clutch your chest as the General comes out from around the corner. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Come with me.” She says and leads you two to her room. “We can talk in private here.” She says and gestures for you to sit down on the bed next to her. “I’ve done it.” She says and smiles. 

“What have you done?” You ask.

“I’ve managed to give one of Kylo’s knights the slip about Maz’s cantina.” Leia says. 

“So the First Order is coming here!” You whisper shout, terrified of the battle that could be approaching. 

“No not the First Order, only the Knights of Ren.” Leia assures you. 

“So that’s better? They’ll still find out about this base and kill everyone.” You explain. 

“No they won’t.” Leia says. “The Knights of Ren are only loyal to my son. They don’t take orders from Snoke. Kylo is in charge of them. And his heart is yearning for you. I can feel it. Can you?” She asks and you close your eyes. 

“I do. I guess I just haven’t noticed because I have been yearning for him too.” You say and Leia hugs you. 

“Well you won’t need to yearn much longer. You’ll be in each other’s arms again soon.” Leia promises and you play with the gems on your necklace. 

“I hope so.” You say. 

Meanwhile on the Finalizer Kylo was roughly awoken from a pleasant sleep by a droid blasting an alarm in his ear. Kylo lets out a roar of anger and sends the droid into the wall, where it smashed and shattered, leaving hot metal and sparking circuits in a pile on the floor. “Well it’s a good thing I wasn’t the one that woke you up.” General Hux says. 

“What do you want General?” Kylo grumbles and stands up. 

“Why have you slept in so late?” Hux asks and Kylo sighs. “What are you wearing?” He asks, noticing your necklace around Kylo’s neck. 

“Pants.” Kylo says and Hux rolls his eyes. 

“I meant the necklace. Where did you get it?” He asks. 

“None of your business.” Kylo says. “Now did you come in here to question me or do you have something important to tell me?” He asks grumpily. He was having a pleasant dream, a dream that you two were together again and rolling through a meadow together, kissing and cuddling in the flowers without a care in the world. The only thing that mattered was that you two were together. Until that droid blasted reality into his ear. 

“One of your knights wishes to speak to you privately. They say they have important information. But they will only speak to you. They only ever do.” Hux complains.

“My knights are only loyal to me.” Kylo says. “If the First Order requires them then I will direct them to aid us myself. Aside from that they are an Order of their own and do not take orders from anyone but me.” 

“Very well. But I really don’t like the idea of a second party that doesn’t share our loyalty to Snoke involved in this fight.” Hux says. 

“Well we all have to do things we don’t like every now and then.” Kylo reminds him and the two share a glare. 

“I will leave you then.” Hux says and leaves Kylo’s room. 

Kylo dressed himself and put on his helmet before pulling up a screen on one of the walls of his quarters. “Greetings Master Ren.” The Knight says to Kylo. 

“Greetings Jaden.” Kylo says. “What information do you have for me?” 

“We have picked up some information about something happening at a new cantina in a different system.” Jaden says. “We picked up a rumor that there may be some members of the Resistance there, plotting new attacks on the First Order. I thought you might be interested.” 

“Yes. I am. Thank you Jaden. Gather the other knights and head to the planet. I will meet you there tonight.” Kylo says. 

“It will be done Master Ren.” Jaden says. “I will send you the coordinates.” 

“Thank you. I will see you tonight.” Kylo says and shuts off the transmission. He took off his helmet and sighed. He was starting to get butterflies in his stomach. With every day that passed the First Order got closer to the Resistance. It wouldn’t be long before he saw you again. But what worried him was the fact that he might have to kill you when you met. He pulled out your necklace and held the crystal to his lips and prayed to the Force. “Please don’t make me hurt her.” He begs and a few tears slide down his cheeks. 

“Are you sure about this?” You ask Leia as you put the last flower in your hair. 

“Yes I’m sure.” Leia says and looks you over. “You look beautiful! He’ll fall in love with you all over again. Although I doubt he’s ever stopped. We should get going now. My source has told me that the Knights of Ren will be there tonight. And I’ve alerted Maz to set you two up when you’re both at the cantina.” 

“You’re not coming with me?” You ask her. 

“I can’t. He’ll get scared off or be reluctant to show his true self if I’m there. He doesn’t trust me like he trusts you.” Leia says. You place a hand on her arm, as you stand up. You wore the same things you wore that night at the festival.

“We’ll work up to it.” You say and she smiles. 

“Now let’s get you over there before the sun sets.” She says and the two of you sneak out of the base and into the woods on your way to the cantina. When you two arrived at the castle Leia gave you the final instructions. “Now you’re going to go find Maz. She’ll lead you to a secret room where you’ll wait until Kylo arrives. Then she’ll bring him into the room with you.” 

“Okay. Thank you so much Leia for doing this.” You say and she smiles and hugs you. 

“Anything for you and my son’s happiness.” She says. And with that you go into the cantina. It was surprisingly full, considering it had just opened and not many people knew about it. 

“I guess there are more people on this planet than I thought.” You say and look around for Maz. Leia had described her to you. If only she wasn’t so small, maybe you could see her. You felt something tugging on your hand. You looked down and saw Maz. 

“Are you Y/N?” She asks and you nod. “I could tell. Follow me.” She says and leads you over to a stairway. She leads you down a hallway where a few excited patrons of hers stumbled into rooms together to do Force knows what. Would Kylo want to do that with you? You thought and started to feel nervous again when Maz led you up to a quieter floor and opened a door for you. You stepped into the room and looked around. It had beige marble walls, and a marble floor with a fire place and red velvet couches near it. There was a grand bed on the other side of the room with sheets that matched the couches. “Do you like it?” She asks. You nod. 

“It’s lovely.” You say. “Why are you helping us?” 

“Because it’s the right thing to do.” She says. “True love should know no boundaries. Especially if it helps the Galaxy.” 

“How do Ben and I’s love for each other help the Galaxy?” You ask and Maz smiles. 

“You make him happy. That’s something he hasn’t been in a long time and something he’s been searching for. That’s what pulled him to Snoke and the First Order. But now you are pulling him back to the Light to find his happiness. Without Kylo Ren the First Order will not be as strong, and the Resistance can easily defeat it.” Maz explains. 

“So this is just a mission then?” You say and sit down on the couch. 

“No. It is by will of the Force that you two need to be together. You said it yourself once, if the Force wants something to happen, it will make it happen. The Force brought Kylo to you, therefore it wants you two to be together.” Maz explains. 

“How did you know I said that?” You ask and she smiles. 

“I know a lot of things dear.” She says. “Now make yourself comfortable. I will bring your boyfriend here soon.” You blushed when she referred to Ben as your boyfriend, and Maz shut the door, leaving you alone in the room. The Command shuttle landed in the woods near the cantina, and Kylo Ren exited, this time alone, with no Storm Troopers. His knights were standing around the shuttle, kneeling before him as he exited. 

“Master Ren.” One greets as he steps forward and kneels before Kylo. 

“Jaden.” Kylo says and Jaden stands up. “You will lead a group of knights around the perimeter, to pick up any suspicious activity that may be going on outside while I will take the rest inside to gather any information that we may use.” 

“It will be done Master Ren.” Jaden says and picks four knights to come with him.

“Take off your helmets.” Kylo orders. “It will be easier to blend in.” He says and the knights nod and all remove their helmets along with Kylo and leave them in the command shuttle, along with some of their heavy robes to make them blend in a bit more. Kylo and the rest follow behind Jaden to the cantina. When they reach the doors the groups split up. Kylo opens the doors and thankfully nobody recognizes them. Except for Maz. As Kylo walks around, surveying the patrons for any suspicious behavior Maz approaches him.

“Kylo Ren.” She says and Kylo looks at her suspiciously. 

“How do you know who I am?” He asks quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear. 

“Even with that scar on your face you look just like your father. Han Solo.” Maz says and Kylo sneers and turns away from her. “There’s someone here who you want to see.”

“Who?” Kylo asks and turns back to her. 

“Follow me.” Maz says and Kylo follows her upstairs to the room you were in. She opens the door and lets him in. You stand up from the couch. 

“Ben...” You say softly and his features soften and he smiles. 

“Y/N...” He says and the two of you run to each other and he captures you in his arms and kisses you deeply. Maz smiles and watches the two of you profess your love for each other. “How are you here?” He asks after pulling away from your lips and resting his forehead on yours. 

“Your mom brought me here.” You say and he smiles slightly. 

“My mom set this up?” He asks and you giggle. He smiled more. “By the Force I missed that laugh.” He says and kisses you again, even deeper this time, exploring every inch of your mouth, familiarizing himself with it again. “You look just the same as our last night together.” 

“This is the only dress I have.” You tell him and he smirks. 

“Then I’ll have to get you some new ones.” He says and gives you another peck. “At least this one is beautiful on you. You make anything beautiful.”

“So do you.” You tell him and he scoffs and shakes his head. 

“Y/N I’m not nearly as beautiful as you.” He says. 

“You’re beautiful to me.” You say and kiss him again. “I missed you so much.” 

“You did?” He asks, surprised that someone would miss him. “But you had Luke and Rey, and your family, my mother.” You shook your head.

“But I didn’t have you. I don’t have the connection to them that I have with you...” You say and look into his eyes. 

“I missed you too.” He says and you smile. “No matter how much I tried to distract myself with my duties as Commander of the First Order and Master of the Knights of Ren, I couldn’t get you out of my head.” He pulls out the necklace you gave him. “At first I just kept this tucked away in a box but then I realized it was a piece of you. And that if I wore it I could keep you with me. And I haven’t had any nightmares since. It’s comforting to have you with me. Even though I knew you were far away.”

“I’m not far away anymore.” You say and hold his arms and look into his eyes. He smiles and leans in and kisses you again. “Your mom thinks we can come here and meet in secret every now and then.” Kylo thinks for a moment. 

“I suppose there is no harm in doing that.” He says and you smile and kiss him again but it’s shorter than your last. 

“The only problem is how to communicate with you to know when to come.” You say and Kylo pulls you in closer to him and you rest your head on his chest. He looks out the window and notices his knights patrolling the perimeter of the castle. Then an idea struck him. 

“My knights.” He says and you look up at him. “I can appoint one as a messenger for us.” 

“But won’t the First Order-” You start and Kylo cuts you off. 

“My knights are loyal only to me. They don’t take orders from Snoke. They do whatever I ask of them. Aside from you, they’re the only people I can trust.” Kylo says and places another sweet kiss to your lips. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” He comes back with another knight with him. 

“Who is she?” He asks. 

“This is Y/N Dameron.” Kylo introduces. “She’s a Jedi training with Luke and the Resistance, and I love her.” The knight seems surprised by this. 

“You’re in love?” He asks shocked. “And with someone on the Light Side?” Kylo smiles a bit. 

“I find it hard to believe myself but I am.” Kylo says and smiles at you, making you blush. “Y/N, this is Jaden. My most trusted knight.” He introduces and you come over to meet him. He takes your hand and kisses it. “You are to act as a messenger for us. So I can find times when I can meet her in secret. You will also act as a guardian for her. You will stay on this planet near the Resistance base and if anything threatens to harm her you will protect her. You will take orders from her.” Kylo commands. 

“As you wish Master Ren.” Jaden says and then takes your hand and kneels down before you. “I am at your command now Mistress Dameron.” 

“Oh you don’t have to call me mistress.” You quickly say, blushing from how he was treating you. “Just Y/N is fine.” 

“Are you sure Mistress Dameron?” Jaden asks again, unsure of calling the woman his master loves only by something so casual as her first name. 

“Yes I am sure.” You say. “You are dismissed now. I will meet you in the forest in about an hour.” 

“Very well Y/N.” He says nervously and looks at Kylo, hoping he’s alright with this. He nods and opens the door for Jaden to leave. 

“So I have my own personal knight now?” You ask and Kylo smiles and nods. 

“I promise he won’t be too much of a nuisance. He will stay on the outskirts of the base and visit you whenever you wish. He will be a messenger and a servant to you.” Kylo explains and kisses your cheek. 

“That’s very sweet of you Ben.” You tell Kylo and he blushes. “You know I thought I already had my own personal knight.” You say and run a finger down Kylo’s chest. 

“Who?” He asks, not understanding the reference. You arch an eyebrow at him. “Oh, me.” He says and blushes a bit. You laugh and then a different look comes over his face. “Does this make you my own personal knight as well? You are a Jedi Knight after all.” 

“I suppose so.” You say and Kylo starts to kiss along your jaw and down your neck, making a small moan escape your lips. 

“Then perhaps I should mark you as mine.” He growls and smirks at you but you pull your neck away as he lightly nips it. 

“I can’t have any marks. Luke or someone might see them and it would be a dead give away that I have a secret lover...” You explain and he nods. 

“You’re right.” He says then his eyes start to wander. “However...” He pulls you a bit closer. “There is one spot I have in mind that Luke won’t see...” He smirks and looks at your breast and back up to you and you smirk and blush as he backs you up against the wall and pulls the top of your dress to the side where it folded over your breast, revealing more of the s/c flesh and he sunk his teeth into it and sucked. Your mouth gaped and you blushed. No one had ever touched you like this before, especially not bitten you. You felt tingly all over and aroused. 

“Ben...” You moan as he leaves his mark on you. He suddenly stops sucking the love bite and looks at you. He was reminded of the vision that he had of himself having sex with you. You moaning his name just as you had a moment ago as he thrusted himself into you. Did this mean that vision was coming true? In an act of courage you reached up for the straps of your dress and started to lower them down your arms. You were going to strip for him! He felt a strange sensation in his trousers. For some reason they felt too tight. He grasped your hands gently and stopped yours. You looked confused at him. 

“Not tonight Y/N.” He says softly and moves your hands back up, putting the straps back in their place and his trousers fitting him well again. “I want to take it slow. If that’s okay with you?” He asks and you smile and kiss him sweetly. 

“Of course it is! I don’t want you to do anything that you don’t want to do.” You say and kiss him again he holds the back of your neck and deepens the kiss. 

“I feel the same towards you.” He says and kisses you quickly. “I want you to be happy. And I’ll do anything to make sure you are.” He promises and seals it with another kiss. You let out a soft moan into the kiss. 

“The best way to do that is by being close to me. And visiting me when you can.” You tell him and he rests his forehead on yours. 

“Then that is exactly what I’ll do.” He promises and pecks your nose. “Especially since it makes me happy too.” You laugh and kiss him a few more times. 

“Since you marked me...” You start off and he arches an eyebrow. “Does this mean that I get to mark you?” He blushes and moves the collar of his under armor down to expose his neck to you. 

“Go for it.” He says and you smile and gently bite his pale flesh. A soft gasp escapes his lips and he moans as you tug and suck on his flesh. “Y/N...” He moans and you smile and place a few more kisses to the bite mark and he runs his hand along your shoulder and stiffens when you wince. He immediately pushes you back so he can look at you and notices the bruise on your shoulder. His eyes cloud with concern. “Where did you get this?” He asks with a worried tone. 

“It happened when Rey-” He cut you off. 

“She hurt you!” He exclaims and his eyes start to tear up. “Were you two fighting? Is she mean to you?” He asks quickly, his anger starting to boil at the thought of his nemesis hurting the most precious thing in the Galaxy to him. 

“No no no Ben really it’s okay. It happened when we were training. She didn’t mean to hurt me. It’s just a little bruise I’m fine.” You assure him to try to calm his temper down. You hug him and kiss along his jawline and neck to help soothe him. He sighs and pulls away from you and places a kiss to the bruise. 

“I’m sorry. You’re just so precious to me, I don’t want you to get hurt.” He says and tears start to form in his eyes. You hug him tight and he does the same. 

“I’ll be fine Ben I can protect myself.” You chuckle. “And I have you to protect me too in case that’s not enough.” You say and he smiles and hugs you tighter. 

“I promise I’ll protect you.” He says seriously. “If anyone wants to hurt you, they’ll have to get through me first.” The two of you cuddled for the rest of the hour. You told him about life on the Resistance base and he complained about Hux to you. 

“He sounds so annoying.” You say. “Why don’t you just fire him?” He laughs. 

“I wish I could. But Snoke appointed him and he’s my equal. I can’t fire him.” He says and strokes a lock of your hair as you laid on top of his chest on the couch. 

“It’s getting late. I should be getting back to Luke soon.” You tell Kylo and he reluctantly lets you out of his arms. 

“You should.” He says and you get up and he follows you to the door. “We will leave separately so no one get suspicious.” He instructs. “I will go and you will leave ten minutes after me.” He says and brings you in for one last passionate kiss. “I promise I will meet you here again when I can.”He whispers on your lips and then slowly backs away until your fingers are the only things touching and he pulls away from you completely and turns to the door and leaves. He makes his way out of the cantina and meets up with his knights. Instructing them to return to their base and Jaden will stay behind for “surveillance”. You come out of the room after they’ve left and meet up with Jaden outside of the cantina. 

“Shall I escort you back to the base Y/N?” He asks and you nod. He leads you to the edge of the woods where you find Leia. 

“How did it go?” She asks you eagerly. 

“It went great! He’ll see me again soon on another night!” You tell her and she gasps and hugs you. 

“Oh this is wonderful! My son will be happy again!” She exclaims and your dress shifts a bit and she notices the love bite. You two blush. “Did you two...” She starts to ask and your face turns red and you quickly cover the mark. 

“No.” You say softly and Leia decides to change the subject. 

“Who is this?” She asks and looks at Jaden.

“This is Jaden. One of Ben’s knights. He’s going to act as a messenger for us, and act as extra protection for me.” You explain and Leia smiles at him. 

“I’ve never really met a friend of my son’s before.” Leia says and shakes Jaden’s hand. 

“I wouldn’t exactly call myself a friend of your son ma’am.” Jaden says. “He is my Master and I am one of his followers. I serve him and the woman he loves.” 

“I guess that’s close enough. Ben was never really good at making friends.” Leia says and you felt sorry for him. He must have had a rough childhood. “Let’s get you home before Luke notices you’re missing.” Leia says and the three of you depart into the woods.


	9. Beauty and the Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Kylo see each other again but this time he sees his mother too. While talking with his mother he sees another guy courting you and feels upset, and that you would be happier without him. Maz sets up a romantic spot for you in the forest and the two of you dance together so you can reassure him that you’re happiest with him. And when that still isn’t enough, you decide to prove it by giving everything to him…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have gotten a lot of requests to have the reader and Kylo finally roll in the hay and now they’re finally doing it! I wanted to wait awhile because I wanted their love to really develop before they reached this important step. So now they are losing their virginities to each other! So if you have not picked up on this yet there will be smut in this chapter! I repeat there is smut! I have marked where it is so if there are those of you who are not comfortable reading it you can skip over it. This is also going to be a very romantic and fluffy chapter! They sing a song to each other and it is For the Dancing and the Dreaming from How to Train Your Dragon 2. I hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated!

You sat in your room brushing your hair after training with Rey. It’s been three months since you came here now and you were adjusting to life pretty well. Your parents loved hanging out with all the pilots and they were so proud to have you training to be a Jedi with Luke. Beforehand they didn’t even know you had these abilities. You thought it would come as a shock and they would hate you but actually they were very happy that you had this special power, and they wanted you to use it to help defeat the First Order. Lately you had started to warm up to the idea of going into battle against the First Order. If you could use your power to do some damage to their weapons it would certainly cripple them but when it came to possibly having to fight Kylo…you winced at the thought and stared at the mirror. 

It had been a month now since you had seen the Knight, the mark he had left on your bosom had since faded but the mark he left on your heart was ever present and growing stronger every day. You missed him, you wanted to hold him again and kiss his soft lips. Maybe you should ask Jaden to arrange a meeting for you two. You had tried twice before but Kylo was unable to get away both times. And the one time he reached out to you Luke had you busy. You could sense through the Force that Kylo was angry at the First Order and Luke for making the two of you busy and therefore keeping you apart but you assured him that it did not matter because you loved him and always would and someday you would find the time to be together. You stroked the gems of your necklace and sighed. Suddenly someone barged in the door and you screamed. 

“Jaden!” You scolded the Knight. “You scared me.” You say while holding your chest. 

“I’m so sorry m’lady.” Jaden stammers. “Luke walked down the other hallway and I didn’t want him to see me.” Even though Jaden was now wearing clothes similar to what the Resistance wore, Luke was still powerful enough to recognize that Jaden worked for Kylo. 

“It’s alright Jaden.” You say and approach him. “Is there any reason you came here?” You ask the Knight and place a hand on his shoulder. He seemed relaxed by your touch. The first few times you had tried to hug him for thank you’s for bringing you things he would shrink away, in fear that you would hurt him. Similar to Kylo’s reactions back on Yavin IV when your mother would try to hug him. So you took things slow and now Jaden had warmed up to people touching him, and didn’t automatically think that you would hurt him. 

“Kylo is free tonight and wishes to meet you at the Cantina. Can you meet him there?” He asks and your face lights up in excitement. 

“Yes! Tell him I can!” You say and hug Jaden and he stiffens in surprise. 

“Very well. I will go alert Master Ren immediately.” He says and walks away to do just that. 

Meanwhile on the Finalizer Kylo sat in a corner of a meeting room in the Command Center and gently rubbed his thumb on the crystal you gave him. He brought it to his lips and tried to remember what yours felt like. Every day he felt less and less passionate about the First Order and the Dark Side, and more yearning to be at your side. When Hux would lecture him about recent reports he would tune them out and think of you, happy on the Resistance Base. He often asked Jaden how you were feeling and he was pleased and disheartened to hear that you were very content. He would feel awful if you were unhappy, but the fact that you were seemingly content without him made him wonder if he should just let you go, so you could be with someone on your own side, and not have to risk so much by being with him. Tears started to form in his eyes at this thought of losing you. Then Hux barged in. 

“Ren!” He complained and Kylo groaned and quickly put his crystal away. 

“What is it Hux?” He asks in an annoyed tone. 

“I have been calling you for hours! One of your Knights needs to speak with you again.” Kylo knew right away it was Jaden. He quickly got up to rush to the hologram center but Hux stood in his path. “What has gotten into you?” He asks. “You’ve been very distracted lately. I think I may need to notify Snoke about this. Except I already have.” He says and Kylo pales. Rage takes over and he grabs Hux by the throat and slams him against the wall. 

“What exactly did you tell him?” He hisses and turns on his saber and holds it to Hux’s throat. 

“Just that you’ve been distracted lately. I swear that’s all.” He pleads. Kylo lets go and leaves Hux gasping for air on the floor. He cries out in pain when Kylo searches through his mind to find the memories of what exactly he told Snoke. Thankfully Hux was telling the truth. Kylo let out a sigh of relief and released Hux. He stepped on his jacket sleeve as he was leaving. 

“If you ever speak to Snoke about my personal matters again I will kill you, understand?” He asks and presses harder. Hux nods. 

“Snoke also requests a meeting with you tonight.” Hux says and Kylo’s heart shatters and he gets angry again. He wanted to see you tonight, not Snoke. He turned on his saber and slashed through the tables before storming out. As he walked towards the hologram room he tried to calm himself down. Most likely you would not be available tonight either, so it was of no use getting angry at Snoke. He sighed and greeted Jaden. 

“Hello Jaden. What has Y/N said?” He asks. Jaden smiles. 

“She can see you tonight Master Ren. She’ll meet you at the Cantina at sunset.” He says. Now Kylo’s anger had returned. This stupid meeting with Snoke would keep him away from his Y/N. “She’s so happy to be able to see you! She hasn’t stopped smiling.” Now Kylo’s heart hurt more. You would be so disappointed to hear he was no longer available tonight. You would probably cry. An image of you crying appeared in his mind and his heart shattered at the thought. The pain of you being upset because of him was unbearable. He couldn’t let that happen, he couldn’t bear to have some dumb meeting with Snoke cause you misery. 

“As am I.” Kylo says. “I cannot wait to see her sweet smiling face tonight and hold her in my arms again.” 

"Wonderful!" Jaden exclaims. "I will tell her at once." He says and signs off. Kylo sighs and leans back in his chair, wondering if he was making a big mistake by not going to the meeting and agreeing to meet you instead.

Jaden rushed back to your room and you smiled as he swung open the door. "Is he coming?" You ask excitedly.

"Yes, he will see you tonight!" Jaden declares and you hug him again. You hear a knock on the door and Jaden hides. You open it and find General Leia outside.

"What's all the commotion for?" Leia asks and comes into the room.

"I'm going to see Ben again tonight!" You exclaim happily and she smiles.

"Wonderful!" She says and hugs you. Then you think of something.

"You can come too if you want." You say and she shakes her head.

"No sweetheart that ship has sailed. Ben doesn't want to see me anymore. I've failed him as a mother. He'd much rather spend his time with you." She says and you shake your head.

"You two need to make amends. You're coming with me to see him tonight and you two will smooth over any rough edges you may have caused." You explain and she smiles.

That night you all head over to the Cantina but you have Leia stay behind since Kylo didn't know that she was here. "We'll come by and get you later." You tell her and she sits down on a bench and you and Jaden go inside. You look around the Cantina a bit for Kylo and gasp when you feel a pair of hands cover your eyes.

"Guess who?" A deep voice whispers in your ear and you smile and turn around in the tall man's arms and you come face to face with your Ben.

"Ben." You say in a breathy voice and wrap your arms around his neck and bring him in for a deep kiss. Today was another busy day at the Cantina so no one would notice two people kissing. He smiles into the kiss and wraps his arms around your waist, bringing you closer to him. He starts to grab your lips more hungrily, wanting to memorize how they feel in case he ever has to go away again. As soon as his lips touched yours, he knew that it was worth skipping the meeting to come see you. He pulled away and looked deep into your eyes. He would destroy and entire system just to see your face again.

"I missed you so much." He says and you smile and rest your forehead on his. "I've thought about you every day. And I've been yearning to have you in my arms again." He says and you kiss him again.

"Me too. I wish I could have you with me every day. We could live in a house together, and I could wake up to you every morning." You say dreamily and Kylo sighs. He wanted to have that too. He just didn't know how it would be possible. With him being a Sith Lord and you a Jedi.

"I would love that." He says and kisses you. "But I'm not sure how we can..." He says and you place a soft kiss on his scar, noticing his melancholy expression.

"Love will always find a way." You explain to him and he smiles and kisses you again, his hands roaming over your form, until you two are interrupted by Jaden.

"Master Ren, sir?" He asks and taps Kylo Ren's shoulder. Kylo groans and reluctantly pulls away from your sweet lips.

"What?" He asks Jaden rather harshly. Jaden starts to shrink away but you give him a reassuring smile.

"Your mother is here to see you." Jaden informs him and Kylo's brow furrows and he looks at you curiously.

"You brought my mother here?" He asks and you blush and nod.

"I thought you might like to see her again." You say and your smile falls and you start to worry that you made a big mistake. Kylo notices that you look upset and he quickly reassures you by kissing your head.

"I don't think she'll want to." He says. "It's been so long since she's seen me. She'll be scared and turn away from me." He explains.

“Ben she’s your mother. She’ll love you no matter what.” You explain and he still seems uncertain. You take his hand and give it a squeeze. “I’ll come with you if you want.” You tell him and he nods and you lead him out to see his mother. As soon as Leia sees him she runs to him and hugs him. 

“Oh my goodness look at you!” She exclaims and steps back from her son a bit so she can look at him. “You’re so tall...” She says. She was only a little over half of his height. He blushes and looks away. “What happened to your face?” She exclaims and Ben sighs and turns and shows her his new scar. “Who did that to you?” 

“Rey.” He answers and she’s taken a bit aback. 

“Your voice is so low now.” She says and Kylo bites his lip. He was worried about what his mother thought about him. 

“It’s been awhile.” He says and she smiles and hugs her son again. 

“I forgive you.” She says. “For everything.” 

“Really?” Kylo asks in disbelief and tears up, clutching his mother closer to him. 

“Yes. I love you Ben. You’ll always be my son no matter what side you’re on.” She says and he sniffles a bit and tries to look away from Leia so she wouldn’t see him cry but you take his hand and squeeze it, reassuring him that it’s okay to cry in front of his mother. And so he does. He kneels down on the ground in front of her and hugs her and cries into his shoulder. You kneel down next to him and hug his waist while Leia caresses her son’s dark curls. “It’s alright Ben. We’re her and we love you.” She says and Kylo’s breaths come out in short breaths. He turns to you and smiles. 

“Can you leave us alone for a few moments?” He asks. You obey and head back inside the Cantina. 

“You like her a lot don’t you?” Leia asks and Kylo blushes. 

“I love her. More than anything.” Kylo says and watches you disappear into the Cantina. 

“Am I going to have grandchildren one day?” She asks and Kylo laughs. 

“I don’t think so. I don’t think I would be a very good father. And I doubt that Y/N would want to sleep with me.” Kylo scoffs and Leia arches an eyebrow. “I’ve never slept with anyone before and I doubt I ever will.” 

“What makes you think that Y/N wouldn’t want to sleep with you?” Leia asks. “She loves you.” 

“She’s so beautiful.” Kylo says dreamily. “I don’t even deserve her. She deserves someone better than me. A better man than me and a man that’s a beautiful as her.” 

“Don’t say that!” Leia says. “You’re a very handsome young man, Y/N would love to be with you. She clearly wants you. She hasn’t left you yet and I doubt she ever will.” 

“Even if she does love me I can’t be with her. I’m a Sith Lord and she’s a Jedi.” Ben says and sighs. “It’ll never work out. She wants a house somewhere and a family, I can’t give her that.” 

“You only say that because you haven’t tried.” Leia tells him. “A wise man told Luke once ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’ So be with her or don’t be with her.” 

Meanwhile you went inside the Cantina and sat down at the bar. Maz brought you a drink and you took sips every now and then. You weren’t one to completely down a drink in an entire gulp. All of a sudden you felt someone watching you from behind. You turned around and found yourself face to face with a very handsome pilot. Poe would be very jealous of this guy’s looks. “Hey there beautiful.” He greets you and you roll your eyes and turn away from him. “Hey don’t be like that, I’m not one of those guys.” He insists and you scoff. 

“Then what kind of guy are you?” You ask and he smiles.

“I’m a gentleman.” He says and takes your hand and kisses it. “Would you care to dance?” He asks and you shake your head. 

“I’d really rather not.” You say but the other customers around you insist. You sigh. “Okay.” You say and he pulls you off of your stool and to the dance floor, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. 

“You’re one of those Jedi that’s training with Luke right?” He asks and you nod. “That’s awesome. You must be really powerful!” He exclaims and you started to feel more comfortable. Thank goodness this guy wasn’t just trying to take you to bed. He was a genuinely sweet guy. You gasped when he dipped you. “And beautiful too. I mean Rey’s cute and all but you...damn.” He says and feels you down a bit. Never mind, maybe this guy was a little sleazy and getting sleazier. You were about to pull away when you saw Kylo staring at you from the doorway, tears streaming down his face. Your heart snapped in half. 

“I have to go.” You tell the guy and he looks disappointed as you run out of his arms and towards the door. Maz saw and gets some of her friends together to go out into the woods to prepare something for you two. “Ben wait!” You call after him as he strides away. “It’s not what it looks like! Please don’t be mad!” 

“I’m not mad Y/N.” Kylo says and turns to face you. “I read your mind I knew exactly what was going on. I know that you prefer me over him but I think you should be with him instead.” 

“What?!” You exclaim. “Are you crazy? No way! I just met him tonight and besides I love you!” You insist and come towards him to embrace him but he steps back. 

“No Y/N I know what you want. A relationship, a family. I can’t give you those things. We’re on two different sides.” Kylo explains. “But that man in there.” He says and points to the Cantina. “He can give you those things. He seems like a nice man you should give him a chance and forget about me.” 

“I’ll never forget about you Ben.” You say. “I love you. I want you.” 

“I want you too but it just won’t work out between us I’m sorry.” Kylo says and you tear up and starts to cry. And Kylo couldn’t stand it. He ran over to you and wrapped you in his arms. “No no no don’t cry, don’t cry.” He begs. 

“Then don’t leave me and I won’t.” You plead and he sighs. 

“Kylo Ren will you quit pushing away the people you love and get over here with Y/N!” Maz calls out from the bushes next to Leia. Both of you were curious so you followed where they led you and gasped when the two of you stepped into a big clearing in the woods. There were lights hung everywhere and some of Maz’s musical friends were off in the corner tuning instruments. 

“Maz what are you doing?” Kylo asks and Maz pushes him towards you. 

“Just shut up and dance with her.” Maz insists and Kylo looks confused. 

“What would we dance to?” You ask and then a thought comes to Kylo. 

“Did Luke ever teach you that song? For the Dancing and the Dreaming?” He asks and you nod. 

“He did.” You say and Kylo wraps an arm around your waist and holds your hand and looks lovingly into your eyes as you sway a little bit and Maz cues the music and Leia tries not to cry.

“I'll swim and sail on savage seas  
With never a fear of drowning  
And gladly ride the waves of life  
If you would marry me  
No scorching sun nor freezing cold  
Will stop me on my journey  
If you will promise me your heart.” Kylo sings and spins you around. 

“And love me for eternity.” You start to sing.  
“My dearest one, my darling dear  
Your mighty words astound me  
But I've no need for mighty deeds  
When I feel your arms around me.” You sing and cup his uninjured cheek with your hand and he smirks and picks you up and spins you around. 

“But I would bring you rings of gold  
I'd even sing you poetry   
And I would keep you from all harm  
If you would stay beside me.” He sings and sets you down.

“I have no use for rings of gold  
I care not for your poetry  
I only want your hand to hold.” You sing and he dips you. 

“I only want you near me.” He replies.

“To love and kiss to sweetly hold  
For the dancing and the dreaming  
Through all life's sorrows  
And delights  
I'll keep your laugh inside me  
I'll swim and sail on savage seas  
With never a fear of drowning  
I'd gladly ride the waves so white  
If you will marry me!” You both sing as he picks you up and spins you around a few times before setting you down and resting his forehead on yours. 

“Han sung me that song on our wedding night.” Leia says and starts to tear up a bit. Kylo sighs and reluctantly lets go of you and smiles at his mother and goes to hug her. “Oh my sweet little boy you’re all grown up!” She wails and you and all of Maz’s friends snicker. Kylo shoots them a glare except for you and they shut up immediately. 

“It’s okay mom.” Kylo says and gives her another tight hug before letting her go and returning to you. 

“Do you feel better about being with me now?” You ask him and he looks into your e/c eyes, shining in the moonlight. 

“I still don’t think I deserve you.” He says and you silence him with a kiss. 

“You do. I love you Ben.” You tell him and he smiles a bit. “Take me to our room?” You suggest and Ben nods and you two walk through the Cantina and up to the room that Maz assigned for the two of you. Your heart was pounding and your hands were shaking as you entered it. 

“Y/N are you alright you’re shaking?” He asks and holds your hands and you nod and push on his shoulders a bit so he’s sitting on the bed. “What are you-” He’s cut off by your lips meeting his in a heated and urgent make out session. You hold onto his lips and climb onto his lap, sitting on it and running your hands over his massive build. You let go of his lips and place gentle kisses along his scar. “Y/N what are you-” He gets cut off when he sees your next move. In an act of courage you take the two straps of your dress and pull it down all the way, revealing your naked torso to him. You were still wearing panties and the dress pooled around your hips. Kylo’s face turned red and he looked away from you. “Y/N put your dress back on, I promise I won’t look.” He says. 

“Ben I want you to look.” You insist. “That’s why I took my dress off.” You say and crawl over him, making him lean back until he’s laying on the bed, breathing heavily. 

“I can’t do this.” He says. 

“Why?” You insist. 

“Because look at you!” He says turning to face you and gesturing to your body. “You’re gorgeous! Flawless! And I’m a hideous monster!” He says. “I’ll ruin you. I don’t deserve someone as beautiful as you.” He says. 

“Ben do you want me?” You ask and he nods. “Then take me...” You beg him and kiss him again. “Please I love you and I want you to make love to me.” 

“Y/N I’m a virgin.” Kylo says. 

“So am I. Take it from me. We’ll lose our virginities together.” You tell him and he grabs your wrists and flips you over so you’re underneath him. You could feel his hardness poking you and you gulped. 

*SMUT BELOW*

“Y/N do you really want me?” He asks and you nod. He takes a deep breath and you hear a click and his belt comes off. He stands up and takes off the rest of his clothes. His bare chest was something you weren’t a stranger too but the rest of him naked was something completely foreign that you couldn’t wait to see. He had a lot of layers on so it took him awhile but once the last article of clothing came off you sat there on the bed gaping. You didn’t even realize that he pulled your dress down all the way, along with your panties until a few moments after he had done so and then he climbed on top of you. You thought that this was it, the moment of truth but instead of his dick going in you, something else did. You gasped as you were penetrated for the first time and looked down and saw that Kylo was inside of you with his fingers. 

“What are you doing?” You ask him. 

“Preparing you.” He answers. “Since this is your first time and I’m rather large compared to you it’s wise that I should warm you up before giving you the real thing.” He explains and you look at his cock to see what he’s talking about and your jaw drops. He was gigantic! How in the galaxy was he supposed to fit you?! You let out a small cry of pleasure as he added another finger to your mound. You whined but then you let out another moan when his mouth attached to a nipple. He sucked hard and bit and tugged, letting small whimpers come from you and your hands pressed onto his bare chest, making his breath hitch. You traced every ab, and every scar on his chest, making your way down to his length and you gently grabbed it in your hand, making him collapse on your breast with a throaty moan. You gripped it tighter and moved down his chest, kissing every beauty mark he had as you made your descent, before you took a deep breath and put his dick in your mouth. He moaned even louder and you moaned too and started to suck on him. You loved how good he tasted. Suddenly you gasped as he thrust into you. More of it went in your mouth, and some of it down your throat. “Oh Y/N.” He moans and you smile and lick around his thick shaft and take more of him in. You grabbed his balls and fondled them, squeezing and caressing them. Drawing out more moans from your lover. Suddenly he pulls out and picks you up and places you back on the bed, your head in the pillows and he spreads your legs so he can get a good view of your glistening womanhood. “I suppose I should return the favor.” He says and you scream in pleasure as his mouth engulfs your pussy. 

“Ben!” You scream and continue moaning to urge him on as he licks your folds and sucks on your clit every now and then. When he pushed his tongue inside of you you screamed again as he licked around your walls. You swore you probably clenched around him. “Ben please!” You beg him and he picks his head up from your cunt. “I need you in me, now.” You tell him and he crawls over your. 

“Are you sure?” He asks and holds your legs apart. You nod and he smirks. “Let’s loose our virginities then.” He smirks and shoves his massive size inside of you. You scream in pain as he fills you and he gasps and holds you close. “Y/N are you alright have I hurt you?” He asks and his face searches yours with worry. You only chuckle. 

“Ben I’m fine. It just hurts the first time. That and you’re just so big.” You moan and he blushes. “I just need to take a few minutes to adjust to you being in me okay?” You ask and he nods. 

“For you, anything.” He says and you kiss him. After a few passionate kisses you nod your head. 

“Go.” You tell him and he nods and you both gasp as he starts thrusting. You moan and he lets out soft grunts and feels you down, his hands finding purchase on any flesh he can get his hands on. Your hands gripped his shoulders and your legs wrapped around his waist and he started making his thrusts deeper. “Ben...Ben.” You moaned and he stopped. He had seen this before. Yes in his vision when he saw his path on the Light. He saw you, your hair fanned out in between two pillows, moaning his name as he thrust into you. It was coming true. He was going back to the Light. If he had gotten this far, he coudln’t turn back now. He started thrusting deeper and faster. You were screaming his name now. “Ben more! Faster! Please!” You begged the man and he moans. 

“Y/N I’m close.” he says and moans and you do too. 

“So am I. Come on, let’s come together.” You tell him and after a few more good hard thrusts Kylo comes inside of you, while you come all over his dick. 

*SMUT ENDED*

After you two climaxed Kylo took a towel from the bathroom and cleaned himself off and did the same for you. Afterwards he got under the covers with you and cuddled you close. “Can you spend the night?” You ask him and he smiles and kisses you. 

“I can, can you?” He asks and you nod. He smirks and kisses your nose before getting settled with you under the soft warm sheets. “Then sleep tight my love.” He says and holds you close, and enjoys another night without Snoke invading his mind. He knew that once the morning came however he would have to face whatever punishment Snoke had set for him for missing the meeting. He looks at your peaceful sleeping face. “She’s worth it. She’s more important than him.” He tells himself softly and kisses you and holds you even closer to him before falling asleep.


	10. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Kylo enjoy a lovely morning together, but are unprepared for all of the surprises that the rest of the day brings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some smut in this chapter! However it is very light smut. You have been warned. I would also love some feedback on this because I think this is one of my better chapters! Enjoy! :)

That morning Kylo woke up to a strange sensation. There was light shining on his eyes from the window. He opened his eyes and saw that he was in the room at Maz’s cantina. He was about to move his arms and stretch when he felt something in them, more like someone. He looked down and saw you, still sound asleep against him. Your head resting on his collarbone, your bare s/c flesh shimmering in the morning sun. Kylo bit his lip and blushed a bit from the memories from last night. He rests your head on a pillow and props himself up on one arm and leans over you, watching you sleep. _How did I get so lucky as to share my bed with the most beautiful girl in the world?_ He thinks to himself and strokes your hair as he listens to your soft snores. Suddenly you start to shift a bit more, and then your eyes open to find Kylo looking at you, his honey colored eyes trained on you with a look of utter adoration. “Good morning handsome.” You tell him, sleep still evident on your voice. He blushed more then let out a soft gasp when your arm snaked around his neck and brought down his lips to yours. He moaned into the kiss and held you tighter, deepening the kiss. His tongue parted your lips and tangled with yours, as your hands tangled themselves in his dark, ebony curls. When he finally pulled away for air you playfully wrapped one of his curls in your finger and pulled on it. 

He chuckled and placed a few more kisses to the side of your face. “What are you doing my love?” He asks you, his voice hoarse and husky from sleep. 

“Playing with your hair.” You answer him innocently. “I love your curls.” 

“I love everything about your body.” He tells you and starts to kiss down your neck. “Your hair, your eyes, your soft lips.” With everything he lists he kisses lower and lower until he reaches the swell of your left breast. “Your breasts.” He blushes and leaves a love bite there, making your grasp his head and gasp. “And your pussy.” He mumbles into your cleavage and gently runs his other finger along your slit, making you gasp and jump in his arms, making him chuckle. You smirk at him and stare at his face. 

“Well I love your scar.” You tell him and a look of surprise comes across his features. You gently kiss where it starts on his forehead. “Your curls, those honey colored eyes.” You kiss down it as you list things. “Your strong arms, your eight-pack.” He chuckles. “Your ass.” You give it a little pinch, making him jump. “And your huge dick.” You tell him and gently run your finger along it, making him groan as it hardens in your hand. His eyes start to darken with lust, and next thing you know you’re underneath him again and he’s in between your legs, making the two of you one again like he did last night. You closed your eyes and relished in the feeling of him penetrating you again until it was replaced with embarrassment when you heard the door open and General Leia walked in with a tray of toast, eggs and bacon. 

“Rise and shine love birds.” She says and nearly drops the tray when she sees her son in between your legs. Kylo immediately gets off of you and pales when he sees his mother. 

“Leia! What are you doing here!” He shouts at her and quickly pulls the blankets up around his waist and over your body to cover yourself. 

“Maz sent me up to bring you two your breakfast.” She says, still finding it difficult to find her words after what she just witnessed. She leaves it on a dresser and Kylo buries his face in his hands while you rub his biceps to try to calm him down. “You know when I said I wanted grandchildren I didn’t mean start making them now.” 

“Leia…” Kylo groans and you bite your lip to keep from laughing. “We’re naked please leave!” He begs and picks up his head. 

“Hey I used to give you baths! It’s not like there’s nothing there I haven’t seen before!” Leia argues. 

“Mom!” He shouts and she gets the message and holds her hands up. 

“Gosh I forgot how grumpy you are in the morning.” Leia says to herself and walks out.

“Good morning General Leia.” You tell her. She looks back and smiles at you. 

“Good morning Y/N.” You giggle when she leaves. 

“You know your mom did have a point about the bath thing.” You tell Kylo and he looks up at you with an annoyed expression. 

“Yeah but she’s not supposed to see the thing she was talking about go inside of another person.” Kylo tells you and you laugh and peck his lips. 

“Come on let’s eat Ben Ben.” You tell him and he gives you a weird look as you get up to get the tray. 

“Ben Ben?” He asks and you turn and smile at him. He laughs. “Is that a nickname for me?” 

“Do you like it?” You ask him while blushing slightly. He shakes his head. 

“No way.” He tells you and you kiss him. “Everyone will laugh at me.” You pout and he sighs. “Okay, when we’re alone you can call me that but not in public.” He suggests and you smile. 

“Deal.” You say. “Now are you going to come up with a nickname for me?” You ask him. 

“I already have one…” He admits shyly and your heart flutters. 

“What is it?” You ask him eagerly. 

“My Light.” He says softly and you throw your arms around him and kiss him passionately. Things start to get heated again but then you remember something as he spreads your legs again. 

“Wait Ben Ben.” You tell him and he lets out a short chuckle at hearing his nickname. “Your mom went to a lot of trouble to get us breakfast, we should at least eat it.” 

“But I want to have you for breakfast.” He whines and pouts and you arch an eyebrow at him and he sighs. “Fine.” You peck his nose and bring the tray over for the two of you. 

The two of you get some toast and jam and eat that while occasionally feeding strips of bacon to each other. When you had both finished the meal you laid in the bed in each other’s arms, lazily kissing each other and running your hands through each other’s hair. “I wish I could just stay like this forever.” Kylo says. 

“Who’s to say we can’t?” You ask Kylo and he looks at you curiously. “We could run away together. No First Order or Jedi to keep us apart.” You say and look up at him. 

“Just you and me against the rest of the Galaxy.” He says and smiles. You smile too and he kisses your nose. “We could steal the Falcon.” He suggests and you laugh. 

“And finally give Leia those grandkids she wants.” You suggest, all the things that you had said to each other up until this had been in jest. His face gets serious. 

“You want to have kids with me?” He asks and you smile and nod. He sighs and plays with the blanket a bit. 

“I don’t know about that Y/N.” He says and you look concerned. “I didn’t exactly have the best upbringing. I doubt I’ll ever be a good father.” 

“You’ll have learned from your parents mistakes.” You tell him and cup his cheek. “We don’t have to have kids now, but maybe in the future you’ll have warmed up to the idea.” 

“You’d be an amazing mother.” Kylo says and you smile. “Maybe that will make up for me being a bad father.” He says and you punch his arm playfully. 

“Stop saying things like that. You’ll be a great father I know it!” You tell him and he smiles. You decide to change the subject. “What time is it?” You ask and your heart starts beating fast when you look outside and see how low the sun is now. Kylo looks at a clock on the wall and pales. 

“It’s almost noon!” He exclaims and then his fears about a punishment for missing the meeting with Snoke return. Suddenly he felt Snoke’s influence over him again. 

“I’m very upset with you Ren…” He says in a sinister voice and then Kylo feels a sharp pain in his head and lets out a cry of pain. All of a sudden it stops abruptly when he feels your hands grab his biceps. 

“Ben are you okay?” You ask him urgently and he looks at you in awe, like he had done that night on Yavin IV, when you woke him up from a nightmare Snoke gave him. He plays with the crystal around his neck that you gave him. “Was it Snoke?” You ask and he nods. He sees you start to get worried and embraces you. “Are you in trouble?” You ask him and he takes a shaky breath. 

“I might be.” He tells you truthfully and you pale and hug him tighter. 

“Please don’t go back to the First Order.” You beg him. “Stay here with me.” 

“I can’t Y/N. Snoke is my Master, I need to return to him to complete my training and become a Sith Lord.” He tells you. “You need to return to Luke and complete yours.” He tells you and gets out of bed reluctantly and starts putting his robes back on. 

“Will I ever see you again?” You choke out and Kylo turns and sees that you’re starting to cry. He rushes over and gives you the deepest and most passionate kiss he’s ever given you. Memorizing every bit of your body, the texture of your hair, the softness of your lips, burning it all into his memory because in his mind, he wasn’t sure if he would ever have the chance to do this again. But in his heart, he knew he would see you again. He couldn’t explain how, but somehow he just knew that this would not be the last time the two of you met. 

“You will. I promise.” He says and wipes away your tears before pressing his lips to yours gently, one last time before pulling away and leaving the room. 

He played with his fingers nervously during the flight in the Command Shuttle back to the Finalizer. His black robes and helmet felt foreign to him now that he had felt your warm body pressed up against his for so long. He felt like he preferred it over these robes now. He quickly pushed that thought aside. He needed to focus on the Dark Side, so Snoke could not read his thoughts and see through the lie he had come up with. When the Shuttle landed and Kylo came out Hux was there with some Storm Troopers, sneering at him. “You’re late Ren.” He says and smirks, clearly satisfied with himself. Kylo rolls his eyes under his helmet. “Come with me.” He says and Kylo follows him to the hologram room where they would converse with Snoke. When Kylo entered he was surprised to see that there was another person there, wearing Sith Robes. 

“It’s nice to have you back Kylo Ren.” Snoke says and Kylo’s heart starts racing. “Before I introduce my friend here I would like to know why you missed the meeting last night?” 

“I had an urgent call from one of my Knights.” Kylo says honestly. “They had information about the whereabouts of the Resistance. It could not be transferred through the holograms because the reception was cut short, so I had to go and meet with them to retrieve it.” Kylo lies but Snoke only squints his eyes a bit. 

“And what is this information?” He asks and a lump forms in Kylo’s throat. 

“They have discovered that the Resistance is in this System.” He starts and Hux looks shocked and Snoke smiles and chuckles. 

“Good. Very good news.” He says. “And Hux here tried to convince me that you were becoming distracted, and affecting the efficiency of the First Order. I’m very proud of you Kylo Ren. But I do not appreciate the secrecy of these affairs with your Knights. I hope that in the future you will be willing to be more open with me about what you discuss with them. Understood?” 

“Yes Supreme Leader.” Kylo says and bows his head, a wave of relief flooding over him. 

“Now this is a Sith Lord that I have had in my council and become very close with.” Snoke says and gestures for the man to step forward. Kylo got on one knee and kneeled before him. Hux did not seem to know what to do, but when the Sith glared at him he gulped and mimicked Kylo’s position. “He is going to complete your training so that you may become a member of my council. A very high member.” He adds and Kylo’s ambition resurfaces, and suddenly any thoughts about you that were in the back of his mind were completely gone. And only dark ones remained. 

“I am honored that you would offer me this Supreme Leader.” Kylo says and bows his head again before Snoke. 

“Well what do you think I’ve been training you for?” He asks rhetorically. 

“I am Darth Suzo.” The Sith says. He had short brown hair and a beard to match. And his eyes were bright gold. He gestures for Kylo to stand. “I am here to monitor your progress, and make sure you stay focused on your destiny, to become one of the greatest Sith Lords that has ever existed.”

“I will not fail you.” Kylo says eagerly, and Suzo smiles. 

“Excellent.” Suzo says and Kylo smiles, a small gold tint starting to form in his honey irises. 

Meanwhile you made your way through the base briskly, trying to get back to Luke and Rey. In your head you thought about what you were going to say to them, and tried to formulate a plan in your head. Once you came up with a plan you relaxed a bit, and started to hum a little tune, more specifically the song that you and Ben sang to each other last night. You opened the doors to the gym and Rey came running up to you and gave you a hug. You were a bit startled from the sudden affection but hugged Rey back nonetheless. You were relieved that she didn’t think any less of you for being late. “Where have you been!” Rey exclaims. “Luke and I have been looking for you all morning.” 

“General Leia and I went to the Cantina.” You say honestly. “We had a few laughs and ended up staying the night. And this morning we must have just lost track of time.” You look back at Luke who seemed to be staring at something on your chest. You looked down and you noticed Rey look too and she gasped. 

“Where did you get this?” She asks and looks at the love bite that Kylo left on the swell of your breast. Your heart started pounding. 

“I..uh…” You started to stammer, and avoided Luke’s gaze, knowing that if you looked at him your cover would be blown. “I must have just hit something last night. A really heavy book fell on me.” You lie. 

“It looks like a bite mark though…” Rey says and looks a little closer. “A human bite mark…” 

“The pages pinched me a bit.” You lied. “That must be what left the indentations.” You tell Rey and she looks up at you, concern still on her face. _She’s such a good friend._ You think to yourself. “Rey I’m fine I promise.” You say and she nods. 

“Okay well just be careful from now on.” Rey warns and gives you one last hug. 

“I will I promise.” You say honestly and Rey turns back to Luke. 

“Can I go and hang out with Finn and Poe now?” Rey asks and Luke smiles at her. 

“Yes you may.” Luke says and Rey smiles and runs off. You smiled at her as she left. You appreciated how happy and optimistic she was, considering how horrible her life had been before she met Finn. “You on the other hand.” Luke says and you get scared. “Are in big trouble for lying to me.” He says and you sigh. You knew there was no arguing with Luke, he’s a Jedi, he could see right through your lies. 

“I’m sorry Master Luke.” You apologize. 

“Not nearly sorry enough.” He says, a bit of an aggressive tone taking hold of his voice. “How could you betray us? Your parents who raised you to be the sweet innocent girl you are, Rey who sees you as the mother she never had, and I who took you on as as student, and you left us to let Kylo Ren rob you of your innocence!” Luke scolds you. 

“I love him!” You retort. “And he loves me! I didn’t betray you Luke, I’m trying to reunite your family!” 

“I’ve already told you once that there is no hope for him now.” Luke reminds you. “He’s killed his father and sealed his fate on the Dark Side.” 

“He’s not as dark as you think.” You say, gaining confidence. “He called me his Light.” Luke’s eyes widened for a moment but then he quickly went back to his normal way of thinking. 

“Y/N he’s manipulating you, that’s what he does he’s a Sith Lord and you are a Jedi.” He says. “The Jedi Code forbids any romantic relationships at all. And one between a Sith Lord and a Jedi isn’t even mentioned but that’s because it was basically common knowledge that those kinds of relationships aren’t supposed to happen!” 

“It’s true love!” You beg Luke to try to reason with him. 

“Whatever he feels for you cannot be love Y/N. You need to forget about him and focus on the people who do truly love you. Rey and I, and your family.” Luke says. 

“I’ll never forget about him.” You tell Luke and then make a bold move. “And you’re not the person who should be lecturing me on the importance of family and love, considering you abandoned your sister when she needed you the most, and you don’t even have the guts to tell Rey who she really is!” You tell Luke and his hands drop from their folded position over his stomach down to his sides. You had struck a nerve. 

“I suppose you are right.” Luke says calmly. “But you are still punished. You will now be monitored every day. You will have someone escort you to training, to the mess hall, and to your room. Those will be the only places you will be allowed to go. The only people you are allowed to be in contact with are myself, Rey, and your family. No one else. You will help train Rey to use the Force like you do. Understood?” Luke asks and you nod, trying to hold back tears. “Good. Now let’s train, since you missed the lesson this morning.” 


End file.
